An Unnatural Beanstalk by Brittany Fichter

Author:Brittany Fichter [Fichter, Brittany]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Entwined Tales Vol. 2
Published: 2018-02-11T16:00:00+00:00

9

It’s Not My Fault You’re Stumpy

“ . . . and the next time we have a visitor of status, I do wish you would slouch a bit. It’s improper to be above your superior, my harp.” The duke stopped in the middle of the little bridge and gave Eva an appraising look, much like Eva’s father gave the horses he considered buying at auctions. “At least your figure is decent. Slim, but rounded enough to satisfy all feminine curves.” He turned back to the path and began walking again. “We’ll need to make sure to lower your chair, though . . .”

“It’s not my fault you’re stumpy,” Eva grumbled as she followed.

“What was that?”

“Those gourds over there look bumpy.”

“If he refers to your feminine curves one more time,” Jack leaned forward and hissed, “I’m going to hit him.”

“What was that, my harp? You really must learn to speak up,” the duke called back.

Eva plastered a false smile on her face, hoping desperately that he hadn’t heard Jack’s threat. “Having such a . . . keen eye for propriety must make life rather interesting.”

The duke’s eyes grew wide with the praise, and a beatific smile lit his face. “Though I cannot in truth say that I haven’t studied social graces with zeal in order to perfect such abilities, I can say in earnest that much of my taste is all very natural to me.”

Jack and Eva shared a glance. For all the duke’s talk about social graces, it would be a miracle if he could manage one meal without talking with food in his mouth. Or talking at all.

But he continued talking, missing their interactions completely. “In fact,” he said, stopping to study one of the bean fields at the foot of the little mountain, “it made my life rather difficult when I was a young boy and no one, with the exception of my dear mother, may she rest in peace,” he stopped and placed his hand over his heart briefly, “believed or took heed of my warnings. But I can offer my services to their full extent through my elevated status now that I am master of title and property. And you, my harp, will be there by my side to learn and then pass on such social graces to our children and anyone who has the grand benefit of sitting under your tutelage.”

Eva was saved from having to form a gracious response when the duke led them from one field to the next, and in his fervor on the subject, forgot to hold the gate so that she could pass through behind him. Jack leapt forward and grabbed it before the gate could swing shut on Eva. But in doing so, he tilted his platter and the goblets tipped and splashed all over her.

Eva let out a shriek as the cold liquid ran down her hair and face, but then she burst into giggles. The dress she was wearing had been requested specifically by the duke that morning, and it was her least favorite of all the gowns in her wardrobe.

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