Almosts & Endings: PG version by Aliya Epps

Author:Aliya Epps
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2016-01-07T05:00:00+00:00

I opened my front door. He stood smiling with a withered flower in his hands.

“Why do you have a broken flower?” I asked moving aside so he could get in.

“You fixed me, I figure you could fix it too,” he said sincerely. In that moment I knew that I had lost him. He was like sand seeping through my fingertips. I wanted so desperately to hold him, this, us, but... he did not see me. He saw what others saw, a savior, oracle of sorts. I was just his resting place. Inside my hopes for real love for a sense of protection and provision for myself shattered. Outwardly I smiled. I felt me falling from hope with each step I took toward the counter. He was happily trailing behind me. I reached under the sink and got a planter out. I went into my living room and grabbed the only plant I owned and poured some of the soil into the planter. I added water and vinegar and placed the flower in there. He was talking on the phone with one of his friends joking around; he included me in the banter. I googled how to save a broken flower. There weren’t any relevant results. There were endless posts on how to repair a damaged plant, how to restore a broken branch, but all of the posts were catered to something that had roots. There was nothing I could locate on what to do with a flower that was uprooted dying by the second.

She and I had something in common. I had not altered her course at all. I only delayed the inevitable. I realized as I watched him take a picture of the “restored” plant that we weren’t going to last. The thought of not having him sent me into a space where the darkness is tangible. The following day I was able to shower but I found myself fully dressed laying fetal position across the bed. He called to check on me, said I didn’t sound like myself. A few hours later he came home with a bag of crabs and shrimp and made a picnic on the bed. He talked about nothing as we ate. Slowly I felt my energy restoring. I was foolish to think that a silly broken flower meant the demise of my relationship.

The truth is I never saw him. I only saw what he meant to me. I saw the man who adored my corny jokes. The man who knew my body; I saw my diary, spades partner, food fight rival (I won just so we’re clear), shower, shave, and shine companion. I saw the safety and protection of my grandfather. I saw my hero. He always saved the day, even if he was the reason it was ruined…

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