All We Have Is Now by Lisa Schroeder

Author:Lisa Schroeder
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Published: 2015-08-23T16:00:00+00:00

“WHAT ABOUT you?” she asks when they get into the car.

“What about me?”

“You want to help me. Maybe we should help you, too.”

Vince turns the key and puts the car into drive. “I’m not following you. I don’t have anyone to make up with. Not like you.”

“We could visit your mom’s grave. Take her flowers, maybe?”

He glares at her. “That’s stupid. I don’t need to do that. I made peace with it a long time ago.”

She picks at a fingernail, wondering if she should go further. From time to time, she sees glimpses of the feelings he works hard at hiding, and it makes her sad for him. What he’s gone through is worse than anything she’s experienced. If she needs to deal with things left undone, shouldn’t he do the same?

“Are you sure about that?” she asks with trepidation, knowing he’s probably not going to take the question well. “About being at peace?”

He stops the car and puts it into park. “What are you doing, Emerson? Because whatever it is, you need to stop. Right now.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just … I don’t want you to have any regrets, either. Maybe you’d feel better if you went and visited her one more time. Sometimes I get the feeling that you’re—”

“That I’m what?”

She says it quietly, hoping she doesn’t upset him. “Pissed off. About her dying and leaving you all alone.”

“Well, you’re wrong.”

“So, you don’t want to go see her?”

He grits his teeth, then takes a deep breath. “See her? Emerson, it’s not her. It’s a grave.”

“Okay, but it’s the only way you can visit her. I mean, you’re making me see my family, so—”

“It’s not the same!” he yells. “You don’t know anything, Emerson. About any of it. Which is why you need to leave it alone.”

“That’s right,” she says, louder now as she glares at him. “I don’t know anything because you won’t tell me. All I know is your mom died, you lived in some crappy places, and then you ran away. Why won’t you tell me more?”

He groans as he squeezes the steering wheel so hard, his arms quiver. “Because, what good would that do? Don’t you get it? I don’t want to relive any of it. It’s gone. Over. There’s nothing I can do to change the hand I was dealt. Any chance of something good happening lies ahead of me, not behind me. I’ve got to keep moving forward, so please, stop trying to pull me back there.”

“Then why can’t I do that, too?” she asks, her voice softer again. “Why can’t I move forward with you, and forget about everything else?”

He shakes his head as he puts the car into drive. “Because, girl. Your family is here. Alive, you know? And maybe that isn’t a big deal to you, but believe me, it is.”

Emerson doesn’t know what to say.

As Vince turns the corner and heads down the road, he says, “When you hug them, you’ll be glad.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“Because no one regrets a hug.

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