All Involved by Gattis Ryan

Author:Gattis, Ryan [Gattis, Ryan]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2015-02-10T08:00:00+00:00

DAY 4

SATURDAY

IT WAS THE WILD WEST WITH PAVED STREETS.

—RONALD ROEMER,

FORMER LOS ANGELES FIRE DEPARTMENT BATTALION CHIEF ON HIS TENURE IN SOUTH CENTRAL

BENNETT GALVEZ,

A.K.A. TROUBLE,

A.K.A. TROUBLE G.

MAY 2, 1992

1:09 A.M.

1

When I’m about to do bad shit, I don’t shake but I sweat. I get real hot on the back of my neck, feels like sunburn or something, and I get real slick back there. I can’t help it. Can’t stop it. It’s just how I’m wired up. Is what it is. And right now I’m hunching into my collar to catch it, soak it up with cotton, cuz three cars of us are going in for this mission, and all’s I’m living for is to lay that bitch Payasa up in her own blood puddle for what she did, cuz where I come from you can’t hit my family like that and not pay. I want her feeling what I been feeling for these past couple days. I need that. Cuz you can’t take away the only sister and brother I ever had and expect different.

I never told nobody this, but I been on fire since I seen Ramiro die right in front of me. My body don’t feel right. Sometimes it’s like a low heat in my feet, the bottoms of them, and also in the backs of my knees, and other times it’s my whole body and it feels like I’m gonna burn up and I can’t stop it. The heat changes with my thoughts sometimes, like what I’m thinking about. It gets hotter with what I been replaying in my head. Can’t help it.

I was in the living room, waiting for the beer my girl was supposed to be getting me from the kitchen, and I just remember thinking how good I felt that we got one of theirs, that Ernesto. It was like, finally! It felt good, you know? We had to wait over a month for payback for my lil sis. My parents had to go on the news and everything. We had to have a service in the house with the coffin next to the turned-off TV, and the funeral home didn’t like that much but they did it cuz I paid them, and I paid them cuz my mother would’ve killed herself if her little girl didn’t come home at least one last time. After, we had to caravan out to the graveyard to bury her. I had to watch my lil sis go in the earth through this fat border of green Astroturf set up around the hole in the ground. I had to stand close and hear the lil gears of the lifting machine grind as it sunk her down there. Sounded like a dog chewing metal chain. I don’t think I can ever forget that sound, even though I want to. I had to be the first to shovel dirt cuz my dad couldn’t do it. Not wouldn’t, couldn’t. He was sitting in his wheelchair, holding his hat in his hands, so me and Joker had to step up to put the dirt on our lil sis’s coffin.

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