Absolution by Gardner S Anne

Author:Gardner, S Anne [Gardner, S Anne]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: Romance
ISBN: 9781927282144
Publisher: Affinity Ebook Press NZ LTD
Published: 2014-01-20T08:00:00+00:00

Memories that do not seize invade and I…

I reach for you and the image wavers

And something inside me knows

I will never touch you.

Quite suddenly, in a small instant, I saw her and mother laughing together. Then my mother embraced her. They noticed me in the room and Francesca suddenly pulled away.

I quickly walked over to the CD player and turned off the music. I blinked the memory away. Like an old picture show of slides, flipping images, slowing down, stuck in between images.

I started picking up packages and took them to the bedroom, leaving her standing in the living room. I threw the bags on the bed and went back to get the rest. I found her standing in the same place I had left her in.

“I thought you would return later so I accepted an invitation from Elena and Alfonso for dinner,” I said as I picked up the rest of the packages.

“Tina, let me explain,” she pleaded.

I turned quickly toward her. “Don’t! We have an understanding!” I yelled furiously.

“Tina, please let me explain,” she said again.

“Don’t call me that! Don’t ever call me that! EVER!! We have an understanding. Never forget it again!” I demanded.

I shook with anger. She had broken our agreement. She had made me see inside myself and I hated her for it. I leaned forward against the back of a chair and stared into space, trying to escape myself.

I felt her as she came to stand next to me. She tried touching me but I pushed her hand out of the way. My action made her take a step away from me. It had been worse than if I had slapped her. The phone started ringing and I walked over to answer it. There was a part of me that could always be cold and unfeeling. That is the person that had left Spain; that could leave a beloved grandmother, knowing that every step and every action cut into her. It was a part of me I had always denied. And so when I could take a step away from Francesca I did not even think twice about it. After all, how could I deny who I was?

“Elena, yes, I’m at Francesca’s apartment, can you pick me up here?” I had my back to her now. Elena agreed to pick me up. “Okay Elena, I’ll see you in an hour.” I hung up the phone.

I looked toward Francesca but she looked away from me. She had her arms around herself protectively. A sob escaped her mouth as she raised her eyes to meet mine. Tears were running down her face. She opened her mouth to say something but did not. I walked over to her, my eyes softening. I had cut her and now was consoling her. And yes, I never made the connection that, at that very moment, I was more an Alcalá than even she or I knew.

“Why don’t you come to dinner with us?” I asked her with a half-smile, as if all that had occurred had been a lover’s quarrel.

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