A New Leash on Life by Suzie Carr

Author:Suzie Carr [Carr, Suzie]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fiction, General, Gay, Romance
ISBN: 9780984937721
Google: wLRbLwEACAAJ
Amazon: 0984937722
Publisher: Sunny Bee Books, LLC
Published: 2012-06-11T02:35:27+00:00

Chapter Nine

Chloe

My secret had marinated for so long that it turned sour. It had grown into a life form all its own, cutting off circulation to neighboring principles, logic, and dignity. At first, the idea of hiding Ayla’s father’s identity from Olivia protected me from having to face the consequences. Slide the secret under the rug, out of sight, out of mind and deal with it later. Of course, when later arrived, this secret had grown too large to bring into the light of day and to smooth over its nutty appearance enough that she wouldn’t be totally shocked. So why not place ourselves somewhere else, in another town altogether?

Coming clean about him could actually affect more than just Olivia now. I could hide for a bit longer or just come out with it and deal with the consequences.

Consequences scared me the way a black hole scared explorers. It was much simpler to evade it, circle around for light years if that’s what it took, and arrive safely, intact on the opposite side of it. Unfortunately, what I needed existed only in that black hole. I’d either have to jump in or evade it altogether. I’d have to surrender to move forward.

Giving up had never been an easy thing for me to do. I didn’t surrender. I pushed on. I dug deep. I survived. I didn’t quit. I hated to lose. When I set my eyes and heart on something, I needed to call it into being. If I wanted a car, I earned a car. If I wanted a summer cottage, I earned a summer cottage. If I wanted my daughter to grow up around horses, I earned her a horse farm. Well, how could I earn her a daddy when he asked me not to uncover our secret? If I couldn’t disclose the truth, how could I help Olivia? If I couldn’t help Olivia, how would I ever earn back her friendship and respect? I needed that from her. Sitting across from her at the diner, I realized more than ever that her trust was the missing piece that blocked me from living my life out loud.

I wanted Olivia. I couldn’t summon her love and respect, demanding her from the universe as I would a car, a summer cottage, or a horse farm. For as long as I harbored this dark secret from her, I’d be circling her for eons, instead of jumping into that mysterious black hole and gambling that she’d be there to catch me with willing arms.

Ayla and Aunt Marie were riding the afternoon I got back from handing over the check to Olivia. The sun glimmered through the windows on the enclosed sundeck, so I decided to call Ayla’s father from the lounger near my favorite hydrangea plant in the corner of the room next to the pool table.

He needed to be on board and willing to take this plunge, too.

As I waited for him to pick up my call, the years unraveled before me.

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