A Matter of Chance by Julie Maloney

Author:Julie Maloney
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: She Writes Press
Published: 2018-05-05T04:00:00+00:00

TWENTY-FOUR

AFTER EVELYN FAINTED AT THE CONCERT, I WATCHED HER like a doting mother. She seemed less energetic, and although she resumed painting in preparation for her upcoming show in the late fall, I sensed a brooding soul had invaded the studio.

“I’m a little tired these days. That’s all. Remember, I’ll be eighty in another year.” Her internal light had dimmed. I had read a study about aging and its effects on memory. What surprised me was that whereas short-term memory receded in the brain, long-term memory often gained clarity. The article emphasized how hidden turmoil or past traumas often revisited with unforgiving strength.

Evelyn’s work turned dark. Her devotion to the primary colors faded to a newfound use of charcoal. Black dust crept under her fingernails and stayed. At night, I washed her hands as she closed her eyes. At first, she pulled back.

“Go upstairs and get your rest,” she’d say.

“It won’t take me long,” I said in a soft voice, as I filled a basin with warm water and a packet of lavender powder. “Soak your hands, Evelyn.” And that’s how it began. Hands first. Then feet. She took in the nurturing like a baby sucking its own toes. Soon I was giving her baths, sponging her back, squeezing steamy water over her head, massaging her rounded shoulders, creased from years of standing at the easel. As Evelyn’s body weakened, mine inched its way toward strength. At times, as I shampooed her hair in the tub, she closed her eyes and hummed. I wondered whether the wet on her cheeks was tears, rather than water from the sponge.

Once, she cried out about the baby she lost. “How I would love to have gotten to know her. How have I lived all these years without that baby child? Oh God, I don’t know how I’ve done it.”

When I brought up the subject the next day, she acted surprised.

“Why are we talking about this? That was so long ago. What makes you ask me this now?”

“Nothing,” I said.

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