What You Always Wanted by Kristin Rae

Author:Kristin Rae
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2016-08-03T16:00:00+00:00

Only two other girls from school come to our first night as an advertised club. I guess I shouldn’t say only. It’s a miracle anyone comes who doesn’t have to be bribed. An Affair to Remember wins the vote, so it’s a Cary Grant kind of night after all. Following pizza, ice cream, and the movie, I lead a discussion comparing modern actors with their predecessors, but I get a bunch of blank stares and one request to watch The Princess Bride at a future meeting. Rather than argue that’s not exactly the type of classic movie I ever intend on highlighting, I give them the ole smile-and-nod and call it a night.

After Sarah and the two other girls leave, Angela and Tiffany pick out another movie. A new release with action like guns and explosions and guys without shirts spitting out one cheesy line after another. Total snoozefest.

I last about twenty minutes before I excuse myself for a bathroom break and peek in on Elise, who’s passed out hugging the plush elephant Jesse gave her on her first day of kindergarten a few months ago. And I see a flash of my own future as an older sibling.

Will I be that thoughtful? I mean, sure I can be more thoughtful than an arrogant boy, but will I have any relationship with my sister or brother at all? For all I know, in a couple of years I’ll be in another state, or at least another city. I’m going to miss most of the milestones, like their first day of school, first missing tooth, first crush. Rider and I know what it’s like living under the same roof, playing together, throwing food at each other during dinner. This new little Brooks won’t remember the one year of his or her life when I was still at home. Will I remember to check in with this child throughout their life? Will I even want to?

The alarm chirps softly as it does when someone opens a door, and I head down the secondary set of stairs that lets out near the kitchen to see who else is up. The house is quiet and dark except for a night-light above the stove and floodlights filtering through the fancy decorative window between the cabinets on the back wall.

My eyes catch sight of something outside as it whizzes past the window. It happens again and I barely make out a flash of red on the white surface. A baseball. Which means Jesse must be home from work.

I feel my way around the furniture in the next room and twist the blinds open. Jesse’s only about ten feet out, illuminated in a yellow spotlight from the corner of the house. He winds up and pitches another ball toward the pool area, and my eyes follow it to a net, where it falls next to a few others. I sink sideways into an armchair and watch silently as Jesse brings the glove up toward his face, hikes up his left knee toward his stomach, stretches his right arm back, and hurls the last ball.

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