The Tourist by Clare London

Author:Clare London
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harlequin
Published: 2011-03-17T04:00:00+00:00

What the hell was up with me?

You fuck everything up.

So I’d been told, plenty of times, though damned if I’d been listening properly. I was a gorgeous young fit guy with everything to offer, and a fine man in my room who wanted to take it. He didn’t even seem to be forcing the terms.

And yet the panic bubbled inside me like lava. I could feel it rise up in my throat, bile pushing at the back of my tongue.

You can’t cope with anything.

I didn’t seem to be able to think straight. I was acting like a brat, wasn’t I? Dan would get tired of me eventually. I could be a handful, you see, nothing but an attention seeker, a drama queen. Well, so Calder used to say. Did Dan think that too? He’d waited all night at the bar for me, had come back to mine, would probably have stayed over. Had fucked me deliciously and with great care and had told me I was special.

And whispered in my ear he loved me.

I spun the phone around on the counter, restlessly watching the light reflect off the display.

Special? Who told you that? Ten a penny, Ricky. Guys like you.

If only Calder hadn’t come into the bar tonight. Why tonight? Why’d he keep coming around at all?

“I’ve got your boxes safe, Ricky.” He’d smiled and nodded, as if we’d always agreed I’d keep stuff at his place. As if we still spent time together. As if he cared anything about me.

As if he ever had.

Kept me talking until Matty got mad at me for neglecting other customers, made sure all his friends saw us together. Maybe made it so Dan saw us too. “Come around any time you like,” he said, as he left. “It’ll be good to see you back.”

Ricky. You need me.

In that instant, my tourist status felt ugly and uncomfortable. I remembered the lovesick misery I’d felt inside Dan, disturbing enough to make me want to jump. But here, inside my new host? This wasn’t what I’d expected. Much more here than fun and a hot body, a hell of a lot more than a lively libido and a pleasantly blossoming new relationship. I was struggling to draw out this young man—to bring anything new to him. He was a bubbling mess of confusion and timidity, too many mixed messages. Too much buttoned down and hidden from me. And from himself.

I looked over at the fridge, admiring again the handsome features and the wide eyes, bright with excitement and eagerness.

And something else, much more disturbing.

Fear.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.