The Perfect Mother: A Novel by Aimee Molloy

Author:Aimee Molloy [Molloy, Aimee]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2018-05-01T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twelve

Night Six

My mom always said I was naive. She was, of course, usually referring to an interaction with my father: my most recent decision to forgive him for something he said, or something he did, for the way he came home drunk again, pulling me out of bed by my arm, dislocating my shoulder, telling me to put away my fucking shoes, left in the middle of the hall, trying to kill him.

“He feels bad about it,” I’d say the next morning, avoiding her eyes as she held the ice pack to my shoulder. “He didn’t mean it.”

She’d shake her head. “You’re so clever about everything except him.” I can see the disappointment in her eyes. “When are you going to learn?”

Maybe she was right. Maybe I’ll never learn. The truth is, this is all so much harder than I expected. How stupid of me to think I could simply steal away and be happy. For one thing, I’m bored to death. There’s nothing to do here. Nothing to occupy my thoughts. And god knows that boredom doesn’t suit me. Idle hands and all that.

Joshua is the same way. He’s happiest when we’re out, walking into town for a turkey sandwich and ice-cold beer from the little shop near the library, or at the secluded swimming hole we discovered, under the bridge, down the wooded path, stretched naked on a rock afterward, drowsy and pink with sun. But I told him today I don’t feel safe doing those things any longer. There are people around—walking their dogs, delivering mail—and they’re starting to ask me how I’m doing. That’s the problem with these country people. They’re so nosy. Go back inside, I want to tell them. Go back to your cross-stitch and frozen macaroni and cheese and your twenty-four-hour cable news. I’ve been practicing my responses; going over my story again and again with Joshua, trying not to trip up, to come to believe my own lies.

I should be a pro at this by now. I’ve been lying my whole life.

My mom’s not feeling well. It’s the flu. She’s sorry, but she asked me to call and cancel for her.

Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not asking you to leave your wife. I’m not interested in anything more than what we have.

Sperm donor, I’d say, leaning in, smiling as if this person—bad-mannered enough to ask me who the father was after I started showing at five months—was the only one I was trusting with the secret. Feeling the tug of motherhood, and I can’t wait around forever for the perfect guy now, can I?

But things aren’t quite so simple this time. The lies are more complicated, easier to get tangled in. So no more going out, no matter how bored we are. And no complaining about it either. I’m going to make the best of a bad situation. Like I did with dear Father.

I’ve started already. This morning, Joshua woke up moody and distant. Did I get mad? Did I demand to know what was wrong? Nope.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.