The Patient by Jane Shemilt

Author:Jane Shemilt [Shemilt, Jane]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollinsPublishers
Published: 2022-03-22T17:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18

June 2017

He was the same and not the same. He looked exhausted, thinner, taller even. There was a little muscle below his left eye that was ticking. He wasn’t smiling. I wasn’t either, I was trying not to cry.

‘Come inside.’

We crossed the courtyard, I ushered him into the house and locked the door; it never occurred to me that I was ushering in danger, locking it in with me, though now, too late, I see that’s exactly what I was doing. I took him into the kitchen, poured glasses of wine. I hardly knew what I was doing, the wine splashed onto the table. He looked around the kitchen, as if wondering where my husband was this late on a Saturday evening.

‘Nathan’s with his mother in Reading.’

We were standing either side of the table like strangers, though if we were strangers, we would probably have smiled at each other. I knew him deeply, intimately, in the way animals know each other, by instinct and by heart, but, in terms of everything else, hardly at all. All the facts that come with friendship, the hinterland behind the people you trust, there hadn’t been time for any of that.

‘I’m sorry.’ His voice was so familiar, so warm, it made me want to cry.

‘Why sorry?’ My voice sounded unsteady.

‘For not being in touch and now, for turning up unexpectedly.’ He walked round the table, coming closer. ‘I can’t get it out of my head that it could have been you that was found by that dog walker.’

I could feel the heat from him, inhale that smoky smell. His presence was overwhelming. I closed my eyes, but all those processes were clicking into place again: my heart rate was accelerating and my mouth drying, my hands were slippery with sweat, it was difficult to breathe.

He put his arms around me, at the same time that my teeth began chattering. He half carried me to the sofa. He was hot whereas I was very cold. I could feel his heart galloping against my chest, or it might have been mine against his. He began to kiss me. I lost all sense of time as we sank into love, hours could have passed.

‘Why did you come back?’ I put my palm against his face, the skin was damp with sweat. ‘You were in France; you shouldn’t be here.’

‘Why do you think? Blake told me you’d been followed.’

‘Why would he tell you that?’ I sat up. ‘Does he know about us?’

‘Of course not. He remembered I’d been your patient, he mentioned he’d bumped into you and that you were scared because a patient was following you.’ He got up abruptly, walked to the window and back again. He was talking much faster than usual. ‘I had a bad feeling about it immediately. I was afraid you wouldn’t take my call so I caught a late flight back yesterday, I had to warn you to take care. When I heard the news this morning, it felt as if my worst fears were coming true.

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