The End or Something Like That by Ann Dee Ellis

Author:Ann Dee Ellis
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2014-05-20T04:00:00+00:00

• 40 •

I sat on my bed and watched outside for more dead people.

Or for Kim.

I was waiting for Kim.

I put on my ratty nightgown. Kim had the same one. I put it on and shoved Mom’s sequin dress under my bed. Then I sat.

The streetlight that Ms. Dead Homeyer used to be sitting under stayed the same.

All night long.

No Kim.

No other ghosts.

No nothing.

By five in the morning, my legs were aching and my head hurt.

I wrapped myself in an old Disney Princess blanket, stepped into my bunny slippers, and went and sat on the front porch to watch the sunrise.

There was a bird.

Another bird.

The sky was gray and no one was out except for an old lady with a dog that barked at me, and the lady said shut up, and three more birds.

•

Today is the day my best friend died.

•

Today is the day my best friend died.

•

Today is the day my best friend died.

•

The sky slowly turned to pink with purples and blues and oranges.

It seemed like it shouldn’t be so beautiful.

I put in my earbuds and turned on Dr. Ted Farnsworth’s CDs that I’d downloaded. I hadn’t listened to them for months. I carried his book in my bag, just in case. But I hardly ever listened to him. His voice made me itch.

But now I thought I should. I should try harder.

I closed my eyes.

You must be present during the visitation. You must concentrate. They want to be with you. They want to visit you. They yearn for it. You are the one stopping it. YOU.

I tried to concentrate. I tried to be present. I tried to let her come.

Please let her come.

Please let her come.

Please let her come.

She wants to come.

You must believe. Believe it. Know it. Be it.

Believe it. Know it. Be it.

Believe it. Know it. Be it.

I whispered the words, trying to fill myself with pure thoughts.

Waterfalls.

Mountains.

Rainbows.

Then I heard something.

I turned off the iPod, goose bumps all over my body. I looked around.

There was nothing.

I stood up and looked down the street.

Nothing.

I looked the other way.

Nothing.

I looked up in the sky.

Nothing.

I tried again.

Let yourself blend into the environment. Integrate yourself with the whole. Forget the past and the future and focus on the now. Only then will the veil become thin enough for someone to enter.

I turned it off.

Blend into the environment.

Be part of the whole.

Focus on now.

Now.

The morning.

The pink sky.

The birds.

The sound started up again.

My heart fluttered.

I didn’t open my eyes this time, instead I focused on the now, and I kept listening to his voice. Be your real you. Be your authentic self. Listen to the universe and the universe will listen to you.

I listened to the universe. I turned off the voice and I listened to the universe.

And the universe said, “Hey.”

In a boy voice. It said, hey.

I opened my eyes.

Joe was standing on the porch.

“Hey,” he said.

I sighed.

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