The Desperates by Greg Kearney

Author:Greg Kearney
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cormorant Books
Published: 2014-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

20

OLD FRIENDS IS WHAT IT’S all been about of late. These past weeks, darting here and there with Binny, getting the meth from the meth people, finding new meth people when the usual meth people run out, doing the meth, nude amid candles and dildos in this condo or that — Edmund keeps encountering acquaintances he hasn’t seen for years, men he’d assumed were dead. But they aren’t dead; they’re on disability and meth. Hollow-cheeked, dentured, prone to edema of the lower legs, stocked up on fancy groceries that go uneaten, breathless, fidgety, forever pushing pampered cats out of the way with fat, slippered feet, these guys are all in pretty rough shape, but it’s great to see them again. As they leave these candlelit condos after three-day binges, Edmund will fill Binny in on who these men are, or were. That guy was almost the mayor, twice. That guy used to have his own cooking show.

Yesterday, might’ve been the day before, but definitely recently, Binny pulled Edmund into somebody’s bathroom and declared his love and loyalty. “I’d die for you, I’d fry for you,” he said. Edmund returned the vow, in a high, disco whisper. He isn’t sure that he does love Binny, but they get along magically well when they party. He thought he definitely did love Binny for a stretch there, when they came together in Edmund’s many rooms, all giggly possibility. As the days went on — days of getting high, speeding for forty-eight hours or more, then crashing, sleeping, trying to stave off the pummelling despair as dopamine levels flatlined — their relationship suffered. It’s impossible to enjoy another person when your only thoughts are of suicide, or more meth to eclipse those suicidal thoughts. They are an affectionate couple, bound together by meth. Maybe that’s not the optimal foundation for a relationship, but it really could be worse. It could be based on duty, or guilt. That kind of relationship is truly sick.

And the sex is … well, not technically extraordinary, what with everyone impotent from the meth, but the aura of erotic possibility is constant and powerful, and it insists that Edmund and Binny abandon all else in pursuit of marathon group sex. This is an arduous task; there has to be at least one guy in the group amenable to either taking Viagra (which means no poppers, lest they have a heart attack) or fucking straight while everyone else is fucked up. When the details all line up, though, and marathon group sex does happen, you instantly know that this sex, with these people, on this drug, is the sweet spot of all mortal experience.

During these sessions, in dark apartments made muggy and hot to counter cold hands and feet, Binny becomes a squalling primate, while Edmund babbles. Binny becomes insatiable, endlessly able to accommodate cock after cock, while Edmund becomes not so much insatiable as insatiably interested in the topic of sex. He talks non-stop about sex. As Binny is penetrated

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