Stephen Jeffreys by Stephen Jeffreys

Author:Stephen Jeffreys
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Nick Hern Books

ACT TWO

Scene One

The Byrds’ ‘Turn, Turn, Turn’. Lights come up on the workshop. It’s the following Friday, just before two o’clock. Everything is the same except that TONY’s drawing of the pool table is now pinned above his bench. GORDON and JACK, wearing suits, are killing time before the start of the meeting. RAY is completing last week’s joke. Music fades out.

RAY. So the third son says: ‘I got a fuck for the duck, a duck for the fuck, a fiver from the fucker who fucked the duck and I’ve still got the fucking duck.’

GORDON and JACK laugh.

GORDON. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

JACK. Rather lost its biblical feel towards the end.

GORDON. I would gladly have waited another week.

RAY. Then there’s this geezer, goes into a pet shop with a tortoise in his hand –

JACK. Please, Ray, save one for after the meeting.

RAY. Suit yourself. Has the old man been in yet?

JACK. He was in for four minutes this morning. Gave a short lecture on the Protestant work ethic then disappeared down The City Arms.

GORDON. We’ll need a team of horses to drag him out.

JACK. Bought a new whistle for the occasion.

RAY. No.

JACK. Twenty-five guineas, New Bond Street.

GORDON. Well I hope he goes off quietly. Don’t want any last-minute nonsense.

JACK. He’ll be fine. Been up and down all week but I think he knows it’s the best thing.

RAY. He’ll go out like a lamb.

GORDON. I hope those other ear’oles get here before him. We want that table ready on the nail for presentation straight after the meeting. Has Barry done the cushions?

RAY. I dunno. What we’re gonna do, Gordon, is bring it through while you’re in the meeting. Me and Tony’ll do the final touches. You’ll walk in, it’ll be here.

GORDON. Well we’re aiming at a short meeting, so if you’ve got the cushions to do, you’d better crack on.

RAY (shouting). Barry! If you haven’t done those cushions I’m going to set fire to your Melody Maker.

He goes into the other workshop.

GORDON. Laurie Molyneux, where are you?

JACK. He’ll be here.

GORDON. You did a good job, Jack, breaking the news to the old man last week. I hand it to you, I really do.

JACK. He cut up very rough.

GORDON. After I spoke to him Monday afternoon, he settled down a bit.

JACK. The time had come. The old clock on the wall.

GORDON. Comes to us all.

JACK. There’s a thing, Gordon. Your boy, I’m wondering.

GORDON. Yes?

JACK. We want to hang on to him.

GORDON. Well yes.

JACK. I was thinking he ought to have a few shares in the company.

GORDON. Whose shares, Jack?

JACK. It’s just, as it’s happened, history, Barry has shares. I feel Tony should have some too.

GORDON. Whose shares would we give him?

JACK. Meetings like this, I think he feels left out. He’s here doing a day to day job, he ought to have a crack at the overall policy –

GORDON. What policy?

JACK. Well, the AGM, we look at policy –

GORDON. We look at what, Jack?

JACK. How the year’s gone, the prospects, the capital –

GORDON.

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