Shiny Broken Pieces by Sona Charaipotra

Author:Sona Charaipotra
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2016-04-26T04:00:00+00:00

23.

Gigi

A WEEK AFTER THE Swan Lake auditions, we’re in the lobby after ballet class, waiting for the revelation of the cast list. Parents shuffle in through the doors. A heavy snow starts to fall outside the windows. The wind slams up against the panes. It feels like last year. Except this time I revel in the whispers. My name is whispered alongside Odette and Odile. It gets louder and louder, like the crescendo in a wave or orchestra music. It’s all I can hear as the teachers start to file in. It’s all I can think about. How different it will be. How rare it is—nearly impossible—for dancers of color to earn the lead in the “white” ballets dependent on the ballet blanc. How I’ll be the first one at the conservatory if I’m picked.

I look for Will and spot him near the front desk. His back is to the crowd, and even from here I can tell he’s tense. I wave my hand in the air, hoping he’ll turn around and come to where I’m standing. I’ve carved out a little spot with my dance bag plopped on the floor.

Alec is to my far right. I can hear him talking to the boys, saying, “May the best Siegfried win.” Each word seems to hit me, makes me miss him, the warmth and safety of his arms wrapped around me, having someone to share this moment with.

Eleanor is the only one of us sitting on the floor. She’s stretching with her eyes closed and her lips mumbling. June is somewhere behind me, but I don’t want to turn and look. All I think about when I see her are my butterflies and cutting her hair. A knot twists in my stomach just thinking about it. I remind myself that she deserved it. I remind myself that her hair is already growing back, so it’s fine.

Cassie comes up. “You ready?”

“Yes.”

“This is it.” It’s weird talking to Cassie about everything. In the few months she’s been here, she’s really been a friend to me. But in this moment, as much as we’d like not to think about it, we’re competitors. Still, I tell myself, it’s good to know that there’s someone in this cutthroat world that I can just relax with, trust a little. I still haven’t worked up the courage to bring up what she had me do to Eleanor with the hummus. I’d rather not lose her.

The next fifteen minutes drag out for what feels like hours. I keep waiting for Will to turn around and find his way over to me. I look for him again.

“Alec craving?” Cassie winks.

“What’s up with Will?” someone says.

We both look at the same time. He’s still at the front desk, shoulders slumped forward, but now he’s sobbing into his hands. I spot Mr. K. No one else seems to notice him over there talking to Will. We’ve all been too wrapped up in waiting for the bulletin board to fill with the cast list and making predictions about who will dance what role.

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