Shallow by Randi Cooley Wilson

Author:Randi Cooley Wilson [Cooley Wilson, Randi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Secret Garden Production, LLC
Published: 2023-07-10T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 16

Gunner

I stare at the clock on my nightstand. It has always provided me a sense of comfort. Ironically, it stopped working the night my mother died. I’ve never fixed it. The fact that it no longer tells time reminds me that you can lose everything in the blink of an eye.

Lately, I’ve lived every day reminded that the world can be a cruel, dark place. But I’m not dead. Not yet anyway. Of all my brothers, I’m the one who recognizes the human need for mercy. For peace. Tonight, for a few brief moments Rebel did the impossible.

She gave me back a shred of my humanity.

She made me feel worthy again.

Made me want to live.

It was a fleeting moment, but one where I felt worthwhile. She reminds me that my heart still beats. I’d showed her my darkness and she took it on, as if it was her own. Inhaling, I relax knowing that at least one person on this earth found me worthy of being something other than who I am. And maybe, just maybe, I can be better. For her.

Nobody truly knows the hell I live with every day. The constant reminders of my tragic life. In Rebel, I’ve found a bit of peace. Regardless of how short-lived it is. I’ve tried my best with her to be guarded, but turns out in her presence, I’m exposed. And that is going to help me hold on. At least for a little while, because right now, I’m not ready to say goodbye. I just want a little more time with her. Because I want to live. Before I die.

Wearing my button-down white tuxedo shirt, Rebel comes out of my bathroom and pulls her hair into a loose bun on the top of her head. I like it, the relaxed look, I like it on her way more than I should. She’s not wearing makeup after her shower, and I take in the few freckles splattered across her cheeks—they’re bloody sexy. She watches me as she walks toward the unmade bed. She sits on the side of the mattress, next to me.

“Hey,” she says quietly.

I try to appear unaffected by her voice, but it is impossible.

I shift, sitting up a bit and rest my head on the headboard, staring over at her. “Hey,” I rasp out. My voice is less confident because the darkness has slipped back in, as it always does, leaving me exhausted. At least my always present headache isn’t appearing tonight.

Our eyes meet and she exhales. “You’ve gone quiet.”

“Things got intense pretty quickly,” I point out. “Between us.”

“Quickly? It’s been twelve years.” Her expression suddenly becomes tortured, and she slowly shakes her head. “Are you afraid that I’ll want more than you can give to me?”

“Yes,” I admit. “I don’t want whatever this is between us to break you, Rebel. I have a history of destroying things. Fucking up. I’m not sure I can give you what you’d need.”

“You can’t know that.”

“You can’t heal me. Fix me,” I sigh out.

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