Renewing Their Vows: A Making Their Vows Novella by Jessa Kane

Author:Jessa Kane [Kane, Jessa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Four

Grace

Tanya is definitely having regrets about letting me stay with her.

I can barely hold a conversation.

We’re sitting on her couch in the living room of her small apartment, my slice of pizza sitting untouched on the coffee table in front of me. Some reality show plays out on the television, but every word blaring from the screen sounds alien and screechy. A sharp pain took up residence in my head four days ago and nothing I do combats it. The pain only gets worse and it’s nothing compared to the gaping emptiness in my chest. I’m not even sure there’s a beating heart inside of me anymore or if I’m an actual zombie at this point.

“Did you see Mrs. Seaford’s socks today?” Tanya asks, referring to the school’s gym teacher. “Fuchsia hearts. All the way up to her knees. Everyone thinks it’s a sign she has a new girlfriend. She communicates these things in socks.”

“Oh,” I say dully, my head protesting the fact that I’m speaking. Or doing anything but staring straight ahead. “That’s great. I’m happy for her.”

My gaze snags on the plate of pizza in front of me. At the mere idea of taking a bite, my stomach pitches, but I take one anyway, chewing it mechanically. I do it for the life growing inside of me. The baby I created with my husband.

I stop chewing, my throat constricting.

Moisture floods my vision, blurring the moving images on the television.

Oh God.

Oh God, I miss him so much.

Back when we were eighteen, we were separated for almost a week and both of us barely survived it. Now? It’s a different ball game. I’ve developed an attachment that far exceeds the one from before. I’m made of sand without him, sifting through time, being carried on the wind, insubstantial. There’s only one place where I can land and become firm, become human again. And it’s with him. There is no learning to live without North. That simply isn’t an option for me, but I don’t know what else I could have done.

I’m still in shock over his actions.

When I saw him shaking hands with Tennison, I flashed back to that morning with my father, during my senior year of high school. How sick and afraid and unsafe it made me feel, knowing this person I was supposed to trust has turned to the dark side. I never expected the same thing to happen with North. My North. He’s honor driven and true. It makes no sense. It just doesn’t. But he admitted it right to my face, so I have no choice but to come to terms with the reality of what he’s done. What he’s doing. Losing a fight to line the pockets of bad people, filling our bank accounts with dirty money in the process.

It’s so unlike him.

But I saw it all happen right there in front of my eyes.

Why, North? I don’t need to be rich. I only need you.

Now that he’s brought these negative forces into our lives, though…can we ever be together again? I don’t know.

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