Reaching One Thousand by Robertson Rachel;

Author:Robertson, Rachel;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Schwartz Publishing Pty, Limited
Published: 2012-01-24T05:00:00+00:00

Ben appears to be taking our separation in his stride, but still I worry about him. He seems to get upset or irritated more easily than usual.

‘Ben,’ I ask him before school, ‘are you worried or upset about anything to do with having two houses? Or do you feel that two houses is too much work?’

‘No,’ he replies, looking puzzled.

‘Would you tell Dad or me if you were confused about things or if two houses were too tricky?’ I ask.

‘No.’

‘Oh,’ I say. ‘Well, I’ll rephrase that. Ben, I’d really like you to talk to me or Dad or someone else if you ever felt worried about anything. Could you do that?’

‘Okay,’ he says, as he wanders into his bedroom, clearly not interested in the conversation.

After a short while, Ben comes back into the kitchen. ‘Mum, I want to ask you something important.’

‘Sure,’ I say, thinking he is going to talk about how he feels after all.

‘If Percy and Thomas had a race, who do you think would win?’

‘Oh,’ I say, ‘who do you think would win?’

‘I think Thomas would.’

‘I expect you’re right, Ben.’

Later, when I pick Ben up from school, his teacher tells me he was sent to the school office for swearing. She’s very apologetic about it.

‘We know he doesn’t mean it, but we have to send him to the office,’ she says.

‘Oh, I agree.’

‘Poor Ben, he was shaking and white-faced when he got to the office and so the deputy was very gentle with him.’

Afterwards I say to Ben, ‘Do you know why you swore at school?’

‘No.’

‘Maybe you were angry. Ben, if you get angry with someone, maybe with Mum or Dad, that’s okay. But swearing is not okay. Ben, are you listening?’

‘Yes,’ he says. ‘Mum, what’s an angry face look like?’

I show Ben an angry face. Then he goes to get a big sheet of paper and starts drawing faces. At the top of the page he writes, ‘What are you feeling today?’ Each face has a different expression and the name of the feeling underneath. After he has drawn forty feelings, he brings the paper to me and shows me each face, asking me if he has ever felt that way. As well as the usual happy, sad, angry feelings, he has included dismal, smug, ambivalent and provocative.

‘Have I ever felt provocative?’ he asks.

‘I would say so, yes.’

He’s also included some made-up feelings.

‘What’s “statey” mean, Ben?’

‘You know, when you say to me, “Don’t get into a state, Ben.”’

‘Oh, I see. And what about “mongrateful”?’

‘That’s very grateful and happy. Have I ever felt mongrateful?’

‘Maybe.’

‘When did I feel mongrateful?’

‘Well, when do you think?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Well,’ I suggest, ‘what about on your birthday when you got presents?’

‘Yes. Now I’m going to make another face chart to take to Dad’s house.’

Over the next few weeks, Ben spends a lot of time making face charts, standing in front of the mirror making faces and talking about the different faces we make with different feelings. I think it’s his way of telling

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