Pretty Rude by Rebecca Elliott

Author:Rebecca Elliott [Elliott, Rebecca]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780241374665
Publisher: Penguin Random House Children's UK
Published: 2021-02-17T00:00:00+00:00

TWELVE

Swallowing back the tears, I walk to Chloe’s. I need to empty my mind of this confusing swirl of emotions: anger, sadness and yet somehow excitement, which I know I shouldn’t feel, but I can’t help it. I feel like a traitor to Mum for even thinking it, but the truth is I really have missed his face, and I’ve missed my memories. They weren’t all bad.

We sit on Chlo’s bed and my friends hug me and listen as I waffle on.

‘So are you gonna see him again?’ asks Kas.

‘Argh! I dunno. Maybe?’ I say, flopping back on to Chlo’s big pile of cushions and staring up at the ceiling. ‘I feel like him coming back has filled my brain with a chocolate-and-sprout pudding. I wanna eat it and I don’t wanna eat it at the same time.’

‘I quite like sprouts,’ says Kas, flopping down next to me.

Chlo delicately lies on the other side of me and we stare at the ceiling together, still covered with the glow-in-the-dark stars I gave her for her eighth birthday.

‘What if I start to let him in and then he pisses off again? Which will be bad enough for me, but if he does that to Noah?’ I scrunch up my eyes, trying to squeeze out the heavy feeling left in them from crying earlier. Kas and Chlo both reach down and hold my hands.

I’m not overly keen on being served large dollops of sympathy though. It only makes me feel worse, so I shake them and the feelings off and leap up from the bed. ‘Parents these days, hey? Screw it, I’m going for a wee and then let’s talk about something else.’

They both sit up, smile and mumble something like, ‘OK, if you’re sure that’s what you want.’

I walk to the toilet next to Chlo’s bedroom, glad of the moment to take a breath, and then I stop in my tracks at the sight of Chloe’s cat drinking out of the toilet bowl. He stops, his back paws on the seat while his front ones are splayed out in the bowl. He turns to me with a ‘do you mind?’ look.

‘Chlo! Ryan Reynolds-Gosling is drinking from the toilet again!’ I shout out.

They both rush through, giggling, as Ryan tries to escape with his dignity intact by reversing himself out of the bowl, only for his two back paws to slip off the seat and into the water. He leaps out in shock, then shakes his paws before straightening up and trotting, aloof, past us.

We all fall about laughing. It’s just what I need.

‘Aww, poor Ryan!’ says Kas through her giggles.

‘I know, right, but cats are totally only there to make us laugh,’ says Chlo.

‘That’s totally cattist, Chlo – they should start a “MEOW TOO” movement!’

We all explode with more laughter. (Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything that’s off limits for a joke, as long as it’s well-meaning and funny.)

Ryan sits and licks toilet water from his paws, still managing to look more elegant than I could ever dream of being.

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