Pop Song by Larissa Pham

Author:Larissa Pham
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781646220274
Publisher: Catapult
Published: 2021-02-08T00:00:00+00:00

It was hard for me to be there. I was the only woman on our side of operations. The students in the program were, save for one male student, all girls; but as their instructor, I could never be their peer. Just on the other side of graduating, I knew there wasn’t much of an age difference between us, in some cases less than a year. But no matter how much I longed for it, I felt I couldn’t be close to them. They could tell me their problems, but I couldn’t share mine—not the difficulties at work or the changes I felt brewing in my relationship—and I missed having someone to confide in, to tell about the fear I felt. I wasn’t so naive as to think it could be soothed, but I craved being understood. In the office I needed to be reliable, the person everyone could depend on, the woman—and was I, now, a woman?—whom the girls came to when their menstrual cramps were bad, or they had migraines, or their endometriosis was acting up. Our program was so small and poorly managed under Robert’s capriciousness that I was always scrambling to clean up some mess—pay a late invoice, charter a last-minute bus, calm down a crying student after an encounter with a sexist gynecologist—without any semblance of effort, not wanting to lose face with my team or the students.

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