No Lift and No Stairs by Ian Hey

Author:Ian Hey [Hey, Ian]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Troubador Publishing
Published: 2022-05-18T00:00:00+00:00

A light-blue van with a huge, black key painted on the side was parked out the front of the house. I opened up the main door and saw a grey-haired man, dressed in overalls, crouched down on a dustsheet outside my flat.

‘Alright, mate,’ I greeted him. ‘I live here. How’s it going?’

‘Fine,’ the man replied. ‘The old lock was buggered; should have been replaced years ago. Take me another half an hour to fit the new one. Do you want to hang on till I finish and I’ll give you the key?’

‘Sorry, but I’ve got to go back to work.’

‘Where do you want me to leave the new key then?’

I thought quickly. ‘Under here?’ I lifted up the china umbrella stand by the front door which never had any umbrellas in it.

‘No probs.’

‘I take it you’re billing the landlord?’

‘I am indeed,’ the locksmith replied. ‘By the way, are the couple upstairs making a porn film or are they trying to kill each other?’

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