Make Me Yours: Billionaire's Sub 2 by M. S. Parker

Author:M. S. Parker [Parker, M. S.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Belmonte Publishing, LLC
Published: 2016-07-18T21:00:00+00:00

By dawn, I was still sick to my stomach and completely exhausted. Neither situation was one that would be likely remedied anytime soon, especially since I still had absolutely no clue what to do. I was torn between what I knew I wanted – Hanna – and what I always thought I didn't want – commitment beyond what I was willing to offer. Then there were the two things that I feared, both at such complete odds that I didn't know how I could possibly deal with them both.

I was terrified of the prospect of a future without Hanna. Waking up alone and knowing that I might never wake up next to her again. Never hold her while we watched television together. I couldn't imagine a world where the scent of her would disappear from the pillows, the sheets, that we slept on. A world where holidays went back to the way they had been for years, me working from home, or maybe polishing off some expensive scotch.

But on the other side, I was scared of what it might mean if I did let myself picture a future with her. A marriage that would end when she realized how much better she could do than me, or when I did something as stupid as I had these past couple weeks. A child who would grow to hate me because I wasn't the parent I should be.

A family I could lose in one fell swoop.

Again.

That, I believed, was something Hanna didn't understand, that she might not be able to understand. When she looked at the future, she saw the wonderful possibilities that it held. Marriage. Children. A life together.

When I looked to the future, it was filled with all of the negative things that could – or most likely would – happen. Divorce. Infidelity. Death. Pain.

And I didn't fear it only for myself. I didn't want to leave an orphan or a widow.

I didn't know why any of this had come as a surprise to me. I'd explained to Hanna the difference between lovers and sexual partners, but I'd put her clearly in the former category, and I'd never given her any reason to think that it meant anything other than a relationship that would move forward to a logical conclusion.

I needed to talk with someone, go over what I was thinking, feeling. I needed a sounding board. Feedback. Except the person I'd turned to for that over the last several months was Hanna, and I couldn't talk to her until I'd come to a decision.

While Juliette and I had become friends, this wasn’t a conversation I could have with her. Aside from the fact that it'd be awkward, she'd probably cut off my balls as soon as she saw me, especially when she found out how the conversation between her sister and I had gone.

I liked my balls where they were, so talking to Juliette was out.

I forced myself out of bed, but not because I had anywhere to go. I just didn't want to piss on my bed, so getting up was a necessity.

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