Magic and Mayhem: The Incompetent Witch and the Very Big O (Kindle Worlds Novella) by DC Thome

Author:DC Thome [Thome, DC]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kindle Worlds
Published: 2017-02-21T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 5

I took off my jacket and sat on the loveseat in the gathering darkness and tried to process everything I’d learned from rabbity Roger. Not as much as I needed to learn, but at the same time, too much: I’d created the monster that was now terrorizing my community. And no one knew how to beat it. And, Goddess help me, that Spur was my life match. It really was too much—especially that last thing. Even I know there should be more to a long-term relationship than reliably decent sex.

My gloom was interrupted by scratching at the door. I got up and let Abigail in. “Why were you outside?”

“I told you: I had to pee.”

“The litter box is in the bathroom off the breezeway.”

She shivered. “Litter boxes—disgusting.” She jumped onto the loveseat, turned in circles, lay down with her butt on my best all-cotton Missoni throw pillow and said, “It’ll be dark soon, and you know what they say.”

“What do they say?”

“The night belongs to fuckers.”

“The night belongs to lovers.”

“Fuckers…lovers. Given the situation, it doesn’t matter. So what’s the plan?”

I sighed. “If I need Spur’s help to destroy the Orgasmism, I’d better track him down.” I wiggled my nose, and my crystal ball floated to me from the coffee table. I rubbed it and said Spur’s name three times. The ball glowed white, but Spur took a long time to answer. When he finally did, he was in bed and shirtless.

“Hey, um, Prudenzia. What’s going on?”

“The usual. Staying up all night. Talking to rabbits. Chasing down orgasm monsters.”

“That’s nice.”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Totally. You’ve gone chasing rabbits, so you know you’re going to fall asleep.” He pulled a white sheet up to his nose.

“What are you hiding, Spur?”

“Hiding?” He pulled the cloth higher. “What would make you think—oh, this! I’m folding my laundry, like I do every Wednesday.”

“It’s Tuesday.”

“Yes, but I do it every week, and last week at this time it was Wednesday. Thanks for checking in.”

“I didn’t just check in,” I said. “I have something important to talk to you about.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“No. It’s ur—”

He giggled.

Okay, now you’re pissing me off. “I’m coming over there.”

“Pru, no! I’ll—”

I ran my hand backward over the top of the ball and returned it to its stand.

Abigail’s eyes fluttered open. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“Would you be of any help?”

“No.”

“Then I’ll go alone.” With a twitch of my nose and a sweep of my arm, I rematerialized in Spur’s bedroom. He was still shirtless. And pantsless. And next to him, the sheet did a poor job of concealing distinctly human shape.

A distinctly female human shape.

My eyes narrowed. “Goddessdamn, Spur, you suck.”

“No, actually,” said a familiar voice from under the sheet, “I would be the one doing the sucking.”

The white sheet vaporized in a cloud of lavender steam, revealing a redhead in a pale purple bustier with matching fishnets.

Brigid.

Frigid Fucking Brigid.

“She’s right, Pru,” Spur said. “She’s literally the one who—”

I stomped my foot. “With those thin, dry lips? I suck circles around her—and you know it!”

He shrugged.

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