Mad Worlds by Bill Douglas

Author:Bill Douglas
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784626808
Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd

Part Two – HOPE – in 1956-7

26

Monday 14th May 1956 – in Bolsall.

Now Heather was grieving for the newcomer to her life, the dead brother she’d never known. Edward – uncle to Becky, and brother-in-law to John.

A brother she was almost getting to know. Having ended their silence, her parents kept talking about him – his shyness, his love of rambling, his prowess at cricket, his dedication to study, his likes and dislikes, his delight in that motorcycle (and how they rued buying it). Mother would talk, then suddenly go speechless and weep. Father would talk until he couldn’t carry on.

Heather listened, asked the odd question, and found herself choking as her eyes blurred. The stirrings inside her were momentous, almost overwhelming. In their disjointed harrowing chatter, her parents communicated with more warmth and honesty than she’d thought them capable of.

They should have told her. If her parents hadn’t moved, she’d have heard from neighbours and friends. And she’d have visited the tell-tale family gravestone (of which she’d now seen a photo, showing Edward’s name at the bottom).

From psychology classes on her Social Studies course, she’d learned about the concept of unresolved grief, and been touched by case studies of people thought to be stuck in their grieving and unable to get on with their lives. It hadn’t occurred to her this might happen in her own family.

Of course, her parents had got on with their lives. They’d dealt with tragedy in their own way, throwing themselves into work and Bolsall high society. It sounded like they’d bottled up their grief and managed their feelings in a ‘stiff upper lip’ tradition. When they moved, they’d even kept the photos of him locked in a drawer. “We were too upset, seeing him all the time,” said Father.

“We loved him so much,” said Mother. “We’re sorry we didn’t tell you earlier.”

“Why didn’t you?” Something impelled her to keep asking.

“It wasn’t just that we’d get upset,” said Father. “We’d started again with you, and when you were young we thought it better not to confuse and trouble you.”

Her parents had certainly been protective of her; they had indeed treated her like a child, up until she’d left home. “And I’m not confused or troubled now?”

“We were so afraid we might lose you,” Mother said. “We were lucky to have Granny helping out.”

“And life went on,” Father added. “We were all busy, and we agreed not to say anything about your having had a brother. We thought it might unsettle you.”

This was going round in circles. “Why did you tell me now?”

“You asked me what ‘terrible thing’ Granny was talking about. I spoke with your mother and we decided to tell you,” said Father.

“We always meant to tell you, sometime in your teens,” added Mother. “But there was never a good time, what with your exams and so on.”

“I didn’t have exams all the time.”

“I know. But your teens were difficult for you, darling,” Mother countered.

True, things had been tough for ages after Granny died.

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