Killing Me Softly by Nicci French

Author:Nicci French
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Penguin Group UK
Published: 2009-06-11T16:00:00+00:00

But I wasn’t saying yes, not quite. The next day at work I rang up Lily, and arranged to see her early that evening, straight after I left the office. I didn’t want to go to her seamy little basement flat. I didn’t think I could sit on the stained sheets surrounded by old photographs of Adam again. I suggested the coffee bar in John Lewis, on Oxford Street – it was the most neutral, least atmospheric place I could think of.

Lily was there already, drinking cappuccino and eating a large chocolate-chip muffin. She was wearing black woollen trousers, a shaggy mulberry-coloured jersey, ankle boots, and no makeup. Her silver hair was tied back in a loose knot. She looked rather normal and, when she smiled at me, rather sweet. Not so deranged. I smiled back tentatively. I didn’t want to like her.

‘Trouble?’ she said genially, as I sat down opposite.

‘Do you want another coffee?’ I replied.

‘No, thanks. I wouldn’t mind another muffin, though – I haven’t eaten all day.’

I ordered a cappuccino for me, and another muffin. I stared at her over the rim of my cup and didn’t know where to begin. Clearly Lily didn’t mind the silence, or my discomfort. She ate hungrily, smearing chocolate over her chin. She was a bit like a little child, I thought.

‘We didn’t really finish our conversation,’ I said lamely.

‘What do you want to know?’ she asked sharply. ‘Mrs Tallis,’ she added.

I felt a ripple of alarm.

‘I’m not Airs Tallis. Why do you call me that?’

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake.’

I let it go. After all, there had been no more phone calls or letters for several days now. Not since I had confronted Jake.

‘Was Adam ever really violent with you?’

She gave a yelp of laughter.

‘I mean, really violent,’ I said.

She wiped her mouth. She was enjoying this.

‘I mean, were you ever unconsenting?’

‘What’s that supposed to mean? How do I know? It wasn’t like that. You know what he’s like.’ She smiled at me. ‘By the way, what do you think he’d make of you seeing me like this? Of you checking up on his credentials?’ Again, she gave her quick, spooky giggle.

‘I don’t know what he would say.’

‘I don’t mean what would he say. What would he do?’

I didn’t reply.

‘I wouldn’t like to be in your shoes.’ Then, suddenly, she gave a violent shudder and leaned across the table until her face was close to mine. There was a bit of chocolate on one of her perfect white teeth. ‘Except I also would, of course.’ She closed her eyes, and I had a horrible sensation that I was watching her re-enact in her imagination some fetishistic act with Adam.

‘I’m going now,’ I said.

‘Do you want a word of advice?’

‘No,’ I said, too quickly.

‘Don’t try and get in his way, or change him. It won’t work. Go with him.’

She got up and left. I paid.

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