Have Lizard, Will Travel (Double-Oh Shifters) by Eve Langlais & Mina Carter
Author:Eve Langlais & Mina Carter [Langlais, Eve]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pendlehutch
Published: 2019-07-24T17:00:00+00:00
Nine
The heavy wooden pin came smashing down again, narrowly missing his skull. Petunia huffed and yelled as she smashed. The woman was completely off her rocker.
“Die, you freaking lizard!” she yelled and hammered the counter with the pin as he skittered across it. He had just about made it over the other side when she nailed him in a bad, totally not good way.
Landing lightly on the floor, he turned as she rounded the island, a wild look in her eyes and the pin raised above her head, coming in for another attack. Getting tired of dodging, he did the only thing he could.
He shifted.
Into his man shape.
This had the effect of causing her to pause and gape. Mouth wide open—in awe, most likely.
“What the…?” Then she surged forward. Not to fall into his arms like he expected. Instead, she slugged him across the jaw with a credible right hook.
“What are you?” she screeched. Then, “OhmygodIsleptwithalizard.” Followed by a mad dash for the sink. He watched in horror as she retched over it.
That hit him low, under the belt.
“Would you stop that?”
“It talks.” She moaned, head still over the sink.
“Of course, I talk. I’m still Simon.”
“The lizard man.”
He sniffed. “The correct term is a reptilian shifter, thank you very much.”
“That doesn’t make it better. Oh, no. Is it contagious?” She gazed at him with horror. “I don’t think I could handle turning into an ugly gecko.”
“Actually, I’m only one quarter gecko.” The reason why he could regrow his tail when he lost it. “I’m primarily chameleon, and considered quite handsome,” he said stiffly. A man’s ego could take a battering with the way she was going on.
“Does the discovery channel know you’re blind, too? And you didn’t answer my question. Am I going to turn into Kermit?”
“No.” And why was it when people thought of reptiles, they mistakenly referred to him.
“Well, that’s a relief. Because I’d probably have a heart attack if I turned into an ugly lizard. I mean, a frog I could handle. Maybe even a snake. But a lizard with those big, beady eyes,”—she widened hers—“and those short, creepy legs,”—she flailed hers around—“that’s gotta suck.”
He puffed out his chest, drawing her attention. But before he could defend himself, she pointed. “What is that? Because your thing was wearing it, too.”
“These are my Xpando Underpants.” Z had designed them especially so agents were never completely naked in the field.
“I don’t think Amazon sells those.”
“No one does. They’re still top-secret. Only available to RI3 agents.”
“Because you’re a spy. Guess it makes sense. You’re small enough to fit anywhere. I just always imagined someone bigger. You know…thicker and stronger.”
His ego shrank with each word. Until he recalled that Petunia talked about his lizard, not his lizard.
“It is not the size that matters but the skill. I am the very best.” In and out of the bedroom.
“Have you always been a reptile?”
“I was born this way, flower.” He leered.
She shuddered. “Your poor parents.”
“I’ll have you know that I am the favorite hatchling of my mother’s eye.
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