Gone Too Long by Lori Roy

Author:Lori Roy
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2019-06-24T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 32

BETH

Before

One week later, on the day we’re meant to go outside again, he stomps around the basement, twice tripping on the new carpet squares, and scolds me for not eating. I lie on the sofa, a blanket pulled up around me, and watch him. He digs through the ice chest and counts the cheese sticks and slices of ham. He shakes the cereal box to find it nearly full and waves an unopened loaf of bread in my face.

“You ain’t eaten one damn thing,” he shouts.

He walks through the rest of the basement. Checks the hamper where I’m supposed to put my dirty laundry. It’s empty because I haven’t changed my clothes or eaten anything since he told me Mama was gone.

“You stink to high heaven,” he says. “You have to wash yourself, comb your hair. Maybe we don’t get to go outside today.”

I stare at him and say nothing because I don’t care. The words he’s saying don’t mean anything to me. Mama isn’t out there anymore, thinking about me or missing me or waiting for me to come back home, and now I don’t want anything. I don’t even want to live.

He grabs me by the wrist and yanks me from the sofa. Like he did before, he covers my eyes over with a black kerchief. He catches my hair in it when he ties the ends off at the back of my head. It pulls my hair, but I don’t cry out or even complain.

“It ain’t my fault she’s dead,” he says as he pulls me up the stairs. I stumble because I can’t see. I crack my shin on one of the steps. Still I don’t cry out. “She done it to her own self. But that ain’t happening here.”

I know a change in the air is coming as he reaches to throw open the door at the top of the stairs. The last time, that change made my legs fold up under me and I screamed and cried because it was too much. I should be scared the same will happen again, but I’m not. The outside doesn’t matter to me anymore because Mama isn’t in it. But when the door opens, I can’t stop myself from inhaling long and slow, can’t stop my hands from shaking or my legs from turning watery again. The air is sticky and sugary, like syrup I want to lick from my fingers. I press a hand over my mouth so I won’t cry or scream and so he won’t grab me up and take me back down again. I do want something, after all. I do want to see outside.

As we walk, our feet hitting the wood planks that are soft and loose underfoot, I count my steps so I’ll keep taking them. Three steps forward, left turn, six steps and another door opens.

The air on my face shoves me backward. I stumble and choke, and I begin to cry even though I try not to. He pulls the black kerchief from my eyes as I step through the door.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.