Friendshipping: The Art of Finding Friends, Being Friends, and Keeping Friends by Jenn Bane and Trin Garritano

Author:Jenn Bane and Trin Garritano
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Workman Publishing
Published: 2020-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

Look, receiving unsolicited advice is incredibly annoying, but we are going to advocate for it just for a second here: Sometimes your friends give you advice because they have weighed the options and decided it’s worth being annoying for a few seconds in order to earnestly help you in the long run. Close friends can act as an early alert system for personal disasters. People who love you and know you well have a sense of what your “normal” looks like, so they can detect when there’s a change and something’s gone off the rails. That’s why it’s important to take things seriously if a bunch of your loved ones give you the same advice.

On the other hand, you certainly don’t need to follow all the advice you’re given. You don’t need to leave every aspect of your life open to feedback. Do you have a friend who gives you advice constantly? Ugh. Well, let’s consider this from their point of view for a moment. They assume when you share your problems aloud, you are seeking their help and input. Your friendship = autopermission to give their thoughts. Eager and especially helpful people—the Leslie Knopes of the world—have a hard time recognizing that this isn’t always the case. It’s time to clue them in. You can absolutely give them a polite nudge that says, “Back off with the advice, please, thanks.” Here are some scripts for the next time your friend gets all fixy:

• Thanks for your concern. I’ll keep that in mind! I’m not looking for further advice right now.

• I was just venting, not looking for answers yet. Thanks anyway.

• I appreciate your input, but I got this one.

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