Family of Strangers by Susan Beth Pfeffer

Author:Susan Beth Pfeffer
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781453218426
Publisher: Open Road Media

Abby: Can you hear them?

Tim: Calm down. Don’t listen if it bothers you that much.

Abby: How can I not listen? They’re screaming at each other.

Tim: Write another essay. Put a pillow over your head. Think about Johnny.

Abby: I want them to stop.

Tim: Then tell them to.

Abby: Oh sure. They’re just about to do what I ask them.

Tim: You have a weapon now. Tell them you’ll try to kill yourself again if they don’t stop screaming.

Abby: Would that work?

Tim: I don’t know. But I think it’s worth a try.

Dec. 24

Dear Rachel,

I never should have left my room, never, I should know what a mistake that is, to leave my room, to remind them of me, I’m sixteen years old, I’ve had sixteen years of them, you’d think I’d know by now not to leave my room no matter how bad things are, if the house was burning, I should stay in my room.

They were in the family room, and Dad was shouting at Jocelyn, how dare she just make an announcement like that, throwing away the plans of a lifetime because she was tired, and Jocelyn was shouting back that she wasn’t just tired like she hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before, she was tired because her entire life she was expected to do things, take on responsibilities that shouldn’t have been hers to shoulder, and Mom started shouting then too, saying I suppose you think this is all my fault, and the three of them were such a cozy little triangle of hate that I was sure there was no point in speaking, that they could never hear me. I’d witnessed that scene too many times before with Jess, only now it was Jocelyn, who had lied to Ms. Green for me, and had been just as willing not to lie, but to go to the damn class play and cheer as though she were my parents.

So I screamed Stop it! and when they didn’t hear me the first time, I screamed it again STOP IT! and this time they did.

Oh God, Dad said. Now what.

It’s not Jocelyn’s fault, I said, although I believed every bit as much as he did that it was.

Abby dear, this really doesn’t concern you, Mom said. Why don’t you go back to your room and watch a little TV.

Just the opening Jocelyn was looking for. How can you say that to her, she demanded. Acting as though she isn’t a member of this family. She tried to kill herself a week ago, a week ago, and all you can say to her is why don’t you go to your room and watch a little TV? Of course, by then, the only thing I wanted to do was go to my room and watch a little TV.

You have no feelings for her, do you, she said. Jess, at least you hate, there’s some emotion there, but Abby doesn’t even exist for you. She’s just your second try at a son, and when she didn’t turn out the way you wanted, you told her to go to her room and watch some TV.

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