Diary of a Murderer: and Other Stories by Young-ha Kim

Author:Young-ha Kim
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins

Missing Child

Bolt. The bolt that the mechanic turned aspiring singer was holding while auditioning onstage. While the young man continued singing fervently, Yunseok’s focus was on that solid metal part. If only my hand were holding something. Even a walnut, or a marble ball like the ones they used to sell in stationery stores when I was a kid. Yunseok stared down at his empty palm.

The store was crowded that summer day. It was just before a national holiday. The three of them—Yunseok, his wife, Mira, and their three-year-old son, Seongmin, who was seated in the shopping cart—took the escalator down to the basement-floor supermarket. It was a scene that would replay in his mind for the rest of his life, but he didn’t know it then. A sale was announced over the loudspeaker, and screaming kids raced past the cart. Yunseok had wanted to stay home and watch a baseball game on TV, he really had, but Mira, not he but Mira, had wanted to go grocery shopping.

“You can lie down all you want after you die! Come on. Get up and get the kid ready.”

He did what she told him to. Much later, he would often remind Mira that if she had let him finish watching that baseball game, nothing would have happened and they would still be living in their sunny, south-facing apartment. Each time, Mira would blame his careless, indifferent grip, the one that had let go of what was most essential and allowed their entire life to slip away between its fingers. Still, they knew nothing about this yet, and got into their new compact SUV. Their three-year-old son already knew what a supermarket was. He knew that colorful products, free-sample corners where you could eat your fill, awaited him, and chocolates near the checkout counter called to him. Seongmin was excited as soon as he was seated in the car.

Only after parking did Mira realize she’d left the loyalty card at home. She asked Yunseok, “What should we do? Should we just go back?” She always asked first. If Yunseok had said they should go home, she would have said, “Go back when we’ve come all this way?” He wanted to avoid such useless repetition.

Instead, he said, “You should have had it ready earlier. It’s not like the points add up to much. Let’s go in.”

He put Seongmin into the red shopping cart. The child was so excited that he couldn’t stay still. Yunseok pushed the cart behind the other customers, and halted at the mobile phone vendor. He’d wanted to replace his old phone now that his contract had ended, but with long days and late nights at the office, he hadn’t had time. “Is this the latest model?” he asked. He rubbed the Motorola that the sales assistant had handed him. It was plastic, but it felt as hard and cold as metal. The clerk continued his sales pitch, saying, “You won’t need anything else if you buy this. You can use it to make memos as well as take photos—it’s the best all-around phone.

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