Dark Side by John Choi

Author:John Choi
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: James Lorimer and Company Ltd., Publishers
Published: 2016-09-10T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 11

Help

“I’m Emerson.”

I look at the rope in her hands. It’s strong enough. But the way her noose is set up, it wouldn’t snap her neck. If she was going to die — it would be from choking. It’s a far more painful way to go. I wonder if I should bring this up.

“So, what school do you go to?” I ask. If she lives nearby, it’s either Riverdale or Malvern. Turns out she goes to Catholic school.

I try to think of other questions I can ask her. Otherwise we’re just going to be standing here in silence. I’ve decided that I can’t just leave her. I think that she must have wanted to talk to someone. Instead of leaving or telling me to screw myself, she’s answering my questions.

Max says she should be in university but she’s doing a victory lap. This means she’s doing grade twelve over again. We’re talking now. I ask about her family. She has a little sister, Kim, who’s four years younger. I can tell by the way Max mentions her that she’s worried about Kim.

“This would be really tough on her, wouldn’t it?” I nod toward her rope.

Max is looking down at the ground. She’s silent again. It’s dark, but I can tell she’s starting to cry. “You wouldn’t understand.” I can barely hear her.

I go out on a limb. “I’m not saying, ‘don’t do this.’ But maybe . . . wait a couple of years . . . until Kim is older.” I know this is not the time to have this thought, but I’m pretty proud of this one. I think it’s really clever.

And sure enough, she lets out a little laugh. It’s mixed with a cough, but I feel like I’ve just scored a goal.

“You’re joking, right?” she says through sniffles. “Postpone killing myself until my little sister gets older?” Her smile is slight, but still — it’s a smile.

Now I’m on a roll. “Well, yeah. You know, make the scar as small as possible.” After a pause, I suggest that maybe she could consider getting some help. “I know a couple of places you could call.” I had read about crisis help lines while doing my research. Some sites suggest calling 911 if you are worried about someone trying to kill themselves. I wonder why we don’t learn what to do in this situation at school.

“I don’t know what I want to do. I was really going to do this today. I promised myself I was going to. And now, I don’t know.” She shakes her head.

“Well, if you don’t do this now, you still can tomorrow. But if you do do this now, well, that’s pretty permanent. Right?”

I decide to tell her about her knot. “Besides, the way you’ve tied that knot, it’s all wrong.”

She looks at me like I’ve got a unicorn horn growing out of my forehead. “Are you serious? You show up out of nowhere and try to talk me off my ledge. And now

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