Cause and Effect by Brooke Edwards

Author:Brooke Edwards [Edwards, Brooke]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-09-13T16:00:00+00:00

7

“I kissed him!” Peter wails into the sofa cushions. The big, intimidating-looking officer can probably hear them through the open fire escape from his spot in front of the building. Peter doesn’t care anymore. “Just planted one on his face and then—it gets worse, don’t you worry, because I ran away.”

“That wasn’t a great idea,” Tia agrees. She’s methodically tearing apart the garlic knots Peter had brought home and immediately abandoned to her clutches. “The running away, I mean. Did you even give him a chance to kiss back? Or say anything? Or did you literally molest his mouth, jump away, babble something, and then bolt? Because that is classic romcom fuckery, Peter, and I will never let you live this down. Ever.”

“That’s pretty much exactly how it went down.” Peter presses his face further into the cushions and opens his mouth to wail some more. The fabric tastes terrible, like it’s the spot where dirty socks always sit, but he figures he deserves the suffering. It becomes too much after a few more seconds and he rolls to his side with a heaving gasp. “But he didn’t come after me until it was to tell me that there’s another nutjob loose, and even then he barely looked at me. I couldn’t even talk to him, Tia. If he did want to kiss me, he would have chased me, right?”

“Not really,” Tia says helpfully. “I mean, if someone kissed me and then ran away, I would probably be more offended than anything else. Him telling you there’s another nutjob on the loose is actually more than I’d probably do.”

Peter rolls further, onto his back, and balances precariously on the edge of the cushions. The sofa is not deep enough, he realizes a second too late and thumps to the floor.

“You’re not a real person, are you?” Tia peers over the sofa at him. Her dark eyes gleam with amusement. The smear of garlic butter on the side of her mouth is distractingly shiny. “Like, when evolution was turning people into real boys, you were off somewhere else learning the fine art of failure.”

“What do I do?” Peter blurts out, reaching up and then just letting his arm flop to land over his face. “I mean, do I call him and apologize? Do I text him and say it was an accident? Do I—”

“Don’t you dare tell him it was a mistake!” Tia shouts, and she throws a pillow at his groin with way more force than necessary. Peter grunts, and she scrambles down to sit on his thighs and collect the pillow, beating him with it. There’s going to be garlic grease all over everything, Peter realizes. He loses track of it as Tia continues to hit him with the pillow, punctuating each blow with words. “Do! Not! How are you even allowed to kiss people if you think that’s an okay thing to do?”

“Maybe it was a mistake!” Peter yells back, trying to fight his way up to a sitting position under her assault.

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