Burning Notes: A Dark Romance (Captive Writings Book 4) by M.L. Philpitt

Author:M.L. Philpitt [Philpitt, M.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781990611025
Published: 2022-08-17T18:30:00+00:00

WILLOW

Sex and I will never get along. In hindsight, there is no other practical outcome for what occurred. My body doesn’t know how to have sex properly.

I’m not sure how long I cry in Hawke’s arms, but it’s enough to make overwhelming self-hate creep up. I should pull away from him and let him go his own way, but I selfishly cling to him, unabashed in wiping my tears on his chest. No matter how many times I wipe though, more seem to come.

At some point, he pulls away, finally realizing what I’ve already come to comprehend—that he deserves more. He leaves the bedroom without a word and wanders down the hallway. The moment he’s gone, the tears come fresh, my sobs not as quiet as I wish they’d be. Even biting my hand does nothing to hold back the constant cries; all that does is make a mess of my hand.

He returns a moment later, and though I don’t meet his gaze, he takes one of my hands, pulling me from the bed. Of course, now that he understands I’m unsavable, he’ll send me on my way. I’d do the same if I were in his place.

Instead of releasing me though, he pulls me down the hallway, toward the bathroom. The door is open and a cloud of steam drifts from the shower that’s presently running. This must have been where he disappeared to.

Wordlessly, he ushers me toward the shower and opens the glass door, gesturing me to enter. I step under the hot water, letting it mix with the tears continuing to stream from my eyes. They mix together and fall into the drain at my feet. My arms grow heavy as I watch them go with longing, wishing I could be sucked away so easily.

Hawke climbs in behind me and I hear him shut the glass door, but I don’t turn around. Don’t do anything other than stare at my feet and wait for the self-hate to dissipate.

I should have fucking known. Alex will always find a way to hold my mind; there’s no getting away from him.

Even through the numbness, I feel Hawke wipe a loofah against my back, leaving behind suds. He washes my back, ass, and legs before turning me to face him.

Beneath my eyelashes, I manage to peek at him, but he’s so focused on his task, I don’t think he notices. I study him, seeking a set jaw or hard eyes that will provide any indication of his anger, but I find nothing. Perhaps he’s good at hiding his emotions though, considering his chosen career.

He finishes with my body before quickly doing his own. I watch him, not really seeing or taking in what he does. He finishes, reaches past me to switch off the water, and then opens the glass door, retrieving two towels hanging up I hadn’t noticed earlier.

He grabs one and brings it into the shower with us, wrapping my body up before doing his own and leading me from the shower.

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