Breaking Vegan by Jordan Younger

Author:Jordan Younger
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Fair Winds Press
Published: 2016-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

So before I dove in, I snapped a photo and sent it off. I was used to photographing my every meal by now. I had been blogging about my meals every day for nearly a year, but taking a picture of animal protein that was about to go into my body felt so foreign. I think a part of me needed to send it to them to make the whole situation feel more real, more tangible, like something I could hold on to and categorize as truth instead of some crazy split-second decision that would derail my lifestyle.

I also must have been proud somewhere inside because sending off the photo felt a bit like sending a picture of a good report card or a first-day-of-school snapshot. I knew both my mom and Katie would be flooded with shock, relief, and confusion, and they would congratulate me on moving so far out of my comfort zone. So maybe it was more like sending them a picture of me skydiving or paragliding over the mountains—something extreme and wild and so distant from the person I had been for so long but so close I could taste it (literally) at the same time.

When I say my salmon fillet was miniature, I mean it literally. It was pounded thin by the restaurant and sliced jagged on its side, like perhaps there was hardly enough to go around and fill all the orders that day. I didn’t mind; I couldn’t even conceive of having a fuller plate of salmon in front of me, and it was only later when I looked back on that photo that I saw how tiny it really was. A thin, flaky piece of pink fish, juicy and tempting, giving me a writhing panic attack and a thrill all at once. One tiny piece of fish served as the barrier between my unswaying vegan label and what inevitably existed on the other side.

When I finally worked up the courage to taste it, the warmth and texture of the fish filled me with unearthly surprise and pleasure. It tasted good, sure, but it was beyond that. I was eating something that was not only “solid food,” but was full of vitamins and minerals my body was absolutely desperate for, something that could only be described as the medicine I needed to heal the damage I had been doing to myself.

And no, I was not so lost in my illness to believe that one piece of fish would cure several years’ worth of vitamin and mineral deficiencies. But damn, did it feel good to eat the salmon and prove to myself that not only was I capable of making a change and listening to my body, I was capable of satiating myself and knowing it wouldn’t kill me. It wouldn’t even hurt me. Nor would it bring my worst fears to life, the ones rooted in stomach pain, bloat, weight gain, heartburn, acid reflux, and painful intestinal reactions to animal protein after not having it for so long.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.