After Nightfall by A. J. Banner

Author:A. J. Banner [Banner, A. J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781503900813
Publisher: Lake Union Publishing
Published: 2018-08-07T06:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

“Why the hell did you talk to Rianne?” Nathan says. We’re out for a late dinner at Tranquil by the Bay, our table overlooking the water, candle flames flickering between us. At nearly eight thirty, a few couples linger in quiet corners; moonlight ripples across the sea. Nathan beguiles me in that pale-green flannel shirt, the top buttons open as usual, those faded jeans, and that haphazard smile.

“Rianne was willing to talk to me about Anna,” I say. “She’s not in denial.”

“You went to her house. She’s unhinged.”

“That’s a harsh statement.” I look at him and realize, I don’t know what’s true. His damning of Rianne seems so extreme.

“Is this why you suggested dinner, to push me about Anna again?”

“Not only about Anna.” He doesn’t know that I tried on five different pairs of earrings before settling on a pair in filigreed gold to match the engagement ring, or that I fretted before choosing a black satin skirt and a soft, chestnut sweater. That I am uncertain. That Lauren’s apparition materialized from the shadows, her face bloody and caked in sand. What are you doing, going out for dinner, when I’m dead? How dare you?

“Drinks for you two?” the waitress says, laying the menus on the table.

“Water, please,” I say. No alcohol for me tonight. I need a clear head.

“A glass of white,” Nathan says, still looking at me.

“Coming right up.” She bounces away, and I unfold the cloth napkin on my lap, open the menu. Mango kale salad, risotto primavera . . .

Nathan sets the menu on his plate, leans forward, and reaches for my hand. I hold on to him, instant relief. I didn’t realize how much I needed his touch, the warmth and firmness of his grip. “What’s this all about?” he says.

“It’s about us,” I say. “Everything feels out of balance. Like somehow, through all this, a happy future might be out of reach.”

“What makes you say that? Nothing has changed between us. We can weather this. Families fall apart and come back together in different ways. People are born. People die. We laugh and cry and mourn those we’ve lost. Grief is part of life.”

“I know all that. It’s just . . . I feel like Lauren died, and everything changed. I’m looking at the world through a foggy window, and I can’t clear the glass.”

“Lean on me,” he says. “Wait, isn’t that a song?”

I withdraw my hand from his and smile as the waitress returns with our drinks. Nathan orders the fish and chips; I choose the risotto. I glance at the couple two tables over, their gazes locked together.

“Why did you and Rianne split up?” I say after the waitress walks away. “You never really told me, and when I visited her, she implied . . .”

“Oh hell no. Let’s not talk about her.” He presses his fingers to his forehead, flicks them away, as if to dispel any thought of her.

“She implied that she was afraid during your marriage. Maybe she suspected you of cheating on her.

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