A Novel Way to Die: a reverse harem murder mystery (Nevermore Bookshop Mysteries Book 6) by Steffanie Holmes

Author:Steffanie Holmes [Holmes, Steffanie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bacchanalia House
Published: 2021-03-29T18:30:00+00:00

“Mum, what—”

“Brilliant, isn’t it? You and Morrie gave me the idea.” Mum held out a shoebox she’d painted black and decorated with silver stars and crosses. She lifted the lid to show me inside. Nestled on a bed of dried garlic cloves was a set of thin wooden stakes that didn’t look like they could spike a pigeon, a small glass bottle with a cork stopper labeled ‘holy water,’ a couple of wooden crucifix necklaces, and a bullet painted silver. “I was up all last night spray-painting the bullets and decorating the boxes. I’ve done all different colors and designs to suit every taste. Look.” She holds up one completely decoupaged with cats. “Isn’t this darling?”

“It’s…” I couldn’t find the words. Instead, I tapped the vial of water. “Where did you get the holy water?”

Did you have to break into the Catholic church and have Quoth distract Father O’Sullivan by enduring a lecture on hairskirts while you nicked from the tabernacle?

“Oh, that was easy. Father O’Sullivan used to be my best customer back when I was doing the diet shakes…or was it the Flourish patch? Anyway, all I had to do was fill up the bathtub, invite him over for tea and scones, and get him to bless it for me in one go. I’ve got enough holy water to vampire-proof the whole village.”

“You…blessed the bathtub?”

“Mina, please.” Mum gave me a shove back toward my booth. “Not so loud. I don’t want my competitors to learn my secrets. They probably think you have to steal from the tabernacle at church.”

“But you can’t sell blessed objects. That’s been the rule since the Middle Ages, if you sell holy water, you remove the blessing and then it’s no use against a vampire.”

Mum gave me another shove. “Father O’Sullivan gave me a loophole. Technically, my customers pay for the container, and I haven’t included any additional charge for the holy water. Now, you go on off to your stall. I don’t want people to think I’m part of your dusty old book sale.”

She turned away to fuss with her Vampire Vanishing Kits, leaving me standing there with my chin in the dirt.

For the next couple of hours, I tried to forget about Mum and focus on my customers. The Witch’s Market was a smashing hit – it seemed as if the entire village was here in costumes, drinking steaming cocktails from cauldron-shaped mugs and buying witchy-themed knickknacks from the stalls. I waved to my friend Maeve, who’d traveled in from Crookshollow to help her friend Clara run a stall for her crystal and witchy store.

No one was buying books, though. A few people stopped to chat, but most of them were more interested in the Halloween-themed fete games or Richard’s cider tent, which…fair enough.

Mum, however, was doing a roaring trade. She had a line of villagers stretching from her stall halfway around the market. She beamed as she presented Richard with a shoebox she’d decorated for him with little pints of beer all over it.

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