4 Plays by David Lavine by Lavine David

Author:Lavine, David [Lavine, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Original Works Publishing
Published: 2013-12-02T16:00:00+00:00

SUICIDE JOHN

(JOHN sits alone, tied to a chair with telephone cord. His arms are bound behind him. He sweats.)

JOHN: My wrists hurt. This isn't a good idea. Despite your intentions and reasons, whatever they are. My thumbs are tingling and I'm having reservations. Serious reservations, reconsiderations. I have poor circulation, you know. This cord, it can't possibly be healthful for me. Healthful for me to be doing this. For anyone to, for that matter. Maybe we shouldn't, huh? I had a big day planned and everything. It's very warm in here, could you maybe crack a window? I get very anxious if I don't stick to my plans. Routine and structure give me pleasure. Yes, sir. Hello?

HECTOR: (Off.) Be right there!

JOHN: I really didn't want anyone around this afternoon. This was supposed to be my day. Ohh, now my shoulders are cramping up. I once had this rotator cuff injury – baseball. Little league, actually, second grade. Any slightest strain aggravates it. And humidity. Hoo, you should feel it when the barometer drops! Can we not do this, this hostage thing?

HECTOR: (Off, incoherent cursing.)

JOHN: I'm no good at being a hostage, I'm sure. I'm downright inexperienced, unqualified. Maybe there's someone else, someone who might actually specialize in it, or at least enjoy it. Imagine that. Are you still in the bathroom?

HECTOR: (Off.) Aaagh!

JOHN: Can you get me an Advil? It might make things easier if I weren't in so much pain .

(HECTOR enters frantically with a toilet scrubber. He sweats, too.)

HECTOR: It's not supposed to be painless. That's the idea.

JOHN: Maybe some Perkadan. I think I used to have some. Check the cabinet?

HECTOR: Forget it.

JOHN: Geez.

HECTOR: I can just see the headlines: Kidnapper Slips Hostage Painkillers.

JOHN: What are you doing with my toilet brush?

HECTOR: I'm screwed already.

JOHN: You really should have come prepared.

HECTOR: Christ, it's hot in here.

JOHN: Couldn't you find anything better? There's got to be something else.

HECTOR: (Sharply.) In this house? You don't even have a goddamn knife in the kitchen.

JOHN: We get take-out a lot.

HECTOR: What the fuck am I going to do?

JOHN: Chinese. Chopsticks, no knives .

HECTOR: I could break off a table leg. Something like that.

JOHN: Please don't. She'll have a bird.

HECTOR: Fuck it. No one has to know I don't really have a weapon. 'Cause by the time they come in, it'll be too late. My freedom or your blood and guts. (Blood-curdling.) My freedom or your blood and guts!

(Pause.)

JOHN: Can you get me that Advil?

HECTOR: Now I have to think. What I'm going to say. How much time do we have?

JOHN: Today Tuesday? She won't be home till three.

HECTOR: I have till three.

JOHN: Unless mahjongg goes into overtime. Then maybe three-thirty. Three thirty-five max. But no later. Punctuality is actually one of her better points.

HECTOR: Is two mil too greedy?

JOHN: I'd tell you what time it is now, but I seem to have difficulty looking at my wristwatch.

HECTOR: Don't want to seem desperate. I'll start high. Three point five. Then we'll have something to work with.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.