11 Missed Calls by Elisabeth Carpenter

Author:Elisabeth Carpenter
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780008223557
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2018-04-17T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Wednesday, 16 July 1986

Debbie

‘She’s stolen your children. Get up!’

Where’s Annie? I only closed my eyes for five minutes, didn’t I? A voice woke me up. I get out of bed and rush to the landing in Mum and Dad’s house. Before I look in the room Bobby’s sleeping in, I know the bed’ll be empty. Mum and Dad aren’t in their room either; their bed’s perfectly made.

Nobody’s stolen the children. It was just a dream.

I stand at the top of the landing, gripping the railings.

Oh no. It’s happening again.

My right arm begins to tingle. I can’t move it, but it won’t stop shaking – my whole body’s trembling.

The ringing in my ears is too loud.

My knees buckle, and I collapse onto the carpet.

I can’t breathe.

My heart is about to run out – it’s beating too fast for the rest of me.

I’m dying.

My throat feels like it’s closing; I shut my eyes.

My breaths are short.

Sick. I’m going to be sick.

There’s nothing in my stomach.

Oh God, I can’t breathe.

I want it to end; I want everything to end.

But I don’t.

I’m on the landing, flat on my back.

Am I dead?

I look at my hand and pinch the skin on my arm.

No.

My poor parents, if they had to find me – what if Bobby had been the first?

Where is everyone? Where’s all the noise?

I slowly get up.

There’s something seriously wrong with me.

I had blood tests for months before Annie was born, though. They would’ve picked up something, wouldn’t they?

I walk downstairs, holding the bannister tight; my knees are still weak. I feel as though I’ve been thrown against every wall in the house, yet there are no bruises on my skin.

Sounds of cars driving past outside. Everything’s going on as normal. I can’t remember what it’s like to feel normal.

There’s a note propped against the telephone.

Deborah,

Didn’t want to wake you. Dad’s taken Bobby to school, so I’m taking Annie out for a bit of fresh air.

Mum.

I wish she’d have put the note in Annie’s cot.

I’m too ungrateful, I know that. When Annie starts to sleep through, I’ll get more sleep myself and then I’ll be a better person. I have to believe that, otherwise I’m going to sink into quicksand.

Perhaps it’d be easier for everyone if I wasn’t around. I make people angry. I’m not how they want me to be. I’m not who I want to be.

Bang, bang, bang.

Someone’s at the door.

I get down on my hands and knees and crawl into the living room, even though the front door is made from mottled glass and whoever it is can see me skulk away.

‘Debs?’ A man’s voice through the letterbox.

Oh God, he must’ve seen me.

I look around the living room: nothing. If I were at home, there’d be an airer full of clothes to hide behind.

More voices at the door. What the hell is going on out there?

A key turns in the lock.

‘Just wait there with the pram while I see what’s going on.’

It’s Mum.

‘Deborah! What on earth are you doing on the floor like that?’

She’s standing at the living-room doorway.

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