You Made Your Bed by Cornelia Goddin

Author:Cornelia Goddin [Goddin, Cornelia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Backstreet Books
Published: 2018-06-19T16:00:00+00:00

36

Caroline

Back in New York. In my room, I take the plastic bag of mushrooms out of my backpack. It feels a bit like having a pile of live grenades in my hands. I go into the kitchen to get a pair of latex gloves. Rummaging around in a cupboard I find just what I’m looking for, a wire mesh rack whose everyday use is mysterious to me. I put on the gloves, take the mushrooms out of the bag and arrange them on the rack, which I place over the radiator vent in my bedroom. Dry heat pours out of it this time of year, and I bet the fungi will be nicely shriveled up in no time.

I need to make sure Marecita does not confront this enterprise when she comes in to clean or bring me my coffee. I’ll just shove the whole thing in a suitcase for those few minutes each day.

I wish I could say that the mushrooms were just insurance, just an option, a backup, a Plan B. But when I said the baby changes everything, I wasn’t kidding around. Everything he wants to do to me is multiplied now, by a factor of infinity, so much worse, unbearably worse.

You must think I’m being coy. But see—I’m taking the drastic step of killing my brother to keep him from talking, so why do you think I’m going to lean into your ear and tell you? That wouldn’t be consistent, now would it?

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