Writing the Rake by Ellie St. Clair

Author:Ellie St. Clair
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2020-09-07T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 14

Benjamin would never think of the Vauxhall Gardens in the same light ever again.

It was the place where he had discovered treasure so valuable, so precious, and he was the last man who should have been privileged enough to have had the opportunity to explore, let alone plunder.

At least he had stopped himself before taking her innocence. That, he could not do with a clear conscience, knowing that she would be wed to another one day. The thought caused a ball of undisguised jealousy so close to rage to begin forming deep in his stomach, but he supposed that was the price for caring for someone as he did Alice.

It was why he had always vowed he would never allow himself to develop such feelings for another.

Saying goodbye to her once they reached her townhome was a nearly impossible task, but he considered his efforts herculean as he had done so with a smile on his face. His mother had looked at him somewhat oddly and when she asked just how he had enjoyed their lengthy tour of the gardens, she donned a wry look of some disbelief at his neutral answer. He hoped he hadn’t given anything away. At least, nothing that would implicate Alice.

She was still innocent, he reminded himself when the guilt began to creep in again. He had made sure of that, even as he had broken the solemn vow he had made to himself to never dally with a young lady who should be married to a respectable gentleman.

He was now torn between the need to see her again and the fear of doing so as it could reveal what she might now expect of him.

Except… he paced the drawing room… was the thought of a life together really that bad?

Yes, it was. He didn’t deserve a woman like her — nor did she deserve to be brought down by a degenerate like him.

A knock brought him out of his reverie, and his valet’s footsteps echoed from the corridor beyond as he went to answer the door, soon returning with a visitor behind him.

“Lord Donning,” Hawkins said with a small bow before he left to continue with his work.

“Donning.” Benjamin tried not to allow his dismay at the man’s visit show as he crossed the room to greet him. He had enjoyed his past friendship with Donning, but his recent experiences with him had made him question the shallow relationship they had formed. “What brings you here this evening?”

“Don’t sound too enthusiastic to greet me!” Donning said with a gruff chortle, crossing to the sideboard and helping himself to a drink without waiting for the offer. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“It can’t have been more than a week,” Benjamin said, deciding that if Donning was going to have a drink, he may as well join in, and he crossed over, sliding a glass for filling across the sideboard’s wood top.

“That may be, but you used to practically be a fixture on the

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