World Devoted by Emily Albert

Author:Emily Albert [Albert, Emily]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-11-13T06:00:00+00:00

Twenty-Five

When Lenna had left her room an hour after Ollivan left, his words circled her mind. She had had the time to think about the message he was trying to get across, about the way he acted like he knew her. It was all met with a stern internal voice telling her that her guardian was all she needed, not him. It told her to give up any form of listening to her father, and it did so convincingly. Of course, she hadn’t known Ollivan her whole life, so how could he be any kind of father to her? And her mother, who had been with her until the day she died, had not been the kind of parent she deserved. Lenna couldn’t even find solace in Kendra, who could never put her above her own blood. In a way, she had known her guardian her whole life, even when it whispered small praises to her as a child. She dropped Ollivan’s words.

Though she had already accepted that her mother had not been ideal, the memory of her and Remy was painful. She never stood a chance against their bond. How had she never seen that? She had let herself fall for the idea that someday Fay would be well enough to love her the way she deserved. It would have never happened, even if Fay had gotten better. Remy had had something closer to a real mother than she ever would. When Fay had said, “I see myself in you,” she meant, “I can never give all of myself to Lenna,” and, “You are more my son than Lenna is my daughter,” and, “I love you more.” There were endless phrases that those five words must have meant, and each one pulsed through her, finding their way to her mind where they stuck themselves on like leeches. She should have heard them sooner.

There was only one person alive that she could punish to satisfy her anger. Whether it was toward herself or her family, it didn’t matter.

By the time she got to the dungeon, her mind was no longer her thinking, rational mind. It was covered in those leeches that sucked out her control and let anger fill her body. Lenna walked down to Remy’s cell, every stomp on the stone floor satisfyingly intimidating.

After taking the cell key from a nearby guard, she stormed up to the front of the cell. Remy looked broken and nearly dead, if not physically then mentally. He lay on the floor, twisted up in an absurd way. For a moment it appeared he was crying, but then it became clear that he couldn’t even manage that; his body was just trembling.

She tapped on the bars, and he still lay motionless on the filthy stone floor. She could imagine that when she was younger and softer, and he was kind and innocent, her heart would have been crushed for him. She would have opened the gate, run to him, and tried desperately to shake him out of this state.

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