Words of Advice by Fay Weldon

Author:Fay Weldon [Weldon, Fay]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-4804-1257-6
Publisher: Open Road Media
Published: 2013-03-27T21:52:00+00:00

9

‘OF COURSE,’ SAYS VICTOR gloomily at dinner, ‘at the first cold snap they’ll turn on the central heating and that will be the end of everything.’

‘In what way?’ enquires Elsa. Elsa and Victor dine alone, on thick pea soup, cold game pie served with potato duchesse and coleslaw (the sauce a vinaigrette, and not mayonnaise) followed by chocolate mousse and cream. The Buddha gazes down upon the two diners. Annie waits upon them, her hands obliging, her mind clearly absent, bent upon some political reflection or another.

‘All the good furniture will warp and split.’

‘They’ve got to keep warm.’

‘The Jacobeans managed to keep warm without central heating. So did the Georgians, the Victorians, and the Nouveau Artistes, and not only did they look after the artefacts of the past, they made good stuff of their own. And what’s happened to us? Factory-made rubbish and central heating. The dawn of comfort was the sunset of creativity.’

‘I’m sure you’re right,’ says Elsa, and then, ‘Couldn’t we just go home now while no one’s watching? Just get the car and go.’

Victor has already considered this possibility. It would be possible to smuggle the library ladder out, under the back floor of the Volvo; on penalty, of course, of losing Hamish’s friendship and the furniture in the billiard room, but keeping Elsa for himself. The car, however, is now locked away behind electronically sealed doors in one of Hamish’s garages.

Hamish, no doubt, foresaw Victor’s plan. Victor says as much to Elsa.

‘In any case,’ he adds, ‘the beds here are comfortable and I don’t think I can face the shop again tonight.’

‘I could make the shop much more comfortable,’ says Elsa, eagerly, ‘if only you’d let me. We could curtain off the whole raised dais and have a little cooker and a permanent bed.’

Victor laughs, though gloomily.

‘You’ll be asking for fitted carpets next,’ he observes. ‘Scratch any woman and there’s a Janice waiting to get out.’

‘But it was you who said the shop was uncomfortable.’

‘That doesn’t mean I want it comfortable.’

Victor is irritated and irritable. Hamish has outwitted him. He does not enjoy it.

‘There’s a train at ten-thirty tomorrow,’ says Victor to Elsa. ‘I’ll drop you off at the station after breakfast, agree a price with Hamish through the day, and be with you by evening.’

Elsa raises her blue eyes to his.

‘Victor,’ she says. ‘I’m going back when you do, and not a moment before.’

Victor helps himself to more chocolate mousse. With Janice, he thought, I used to eat like this nightly. I was not forever rumbling, with a stomach full of brown rice and short-cooked vegetables, and a sprinkling of nuts: carbohydrate, roughage and protein, yin and yang, in proper proportion, ensuing long life and a cancer-free bowel. But is a long life with Elsa so much preferable to an early death with Janice? If I took Janice to a station, at least she would get on the train I thought best.

Janice is my wife. Elsa is the typist.

‘Are you ashamed of me?’ demands Elsa.

‘Not ashamed,’ says Victor, cautiously.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.