When the Glow Lights the Woods by Eule Grey

Author:Eule Grey [Grey, Eule]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: alternate universe/dystopia, winter/Christmas festivity, Gay, YA, Coming of Age, first love, teacher, Animals, conflicting societies, rich vs. poor, physical difference, family drama, friends to lovers
Published: 2022-11-13T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

Though Your Hand May Not be Mine

I woke with a start after another dream about Manu. The images vanished, and I couldn’t claw them back, however much I tried. Mal’s leg dangled over the bunk—a sure sign he was awake. My brother snored like thunder. Sure enough, he rolled over and waggled his foot.

“Kite?”

For the first time since forever, I didn’t want to talk. I closed my eyes and remembered Manu’s hair and the way his eyes flitted from side to side when I spoke. How he watched my fingers.

As reliable and indefatigable as the morning sun, the truth dawned on me. One more meeting wouldn’t be enough, could never be enough.

Mal waggled his foot more frantically. “Kite? What gift are you gonna ask for? Remember—we need medicines and pills. Animal vitamins. Even better, books about medicines and methods of making our own. We don’t want to be beholden. It leads to war.”

An uncomfortable well of resentment forced away thoughts of Manu. Of course, I was going to ask for the health stuff. For once, I wanted to ask for me, instead of always, always, putting my community first, second, and third. “Yes. I am fully aware.”

My brother laughed and snorted. “What’s up with you? Remember not to take the meetings too seriously. And maybe don’t believe everything that guy tells you, okay?”

I closed my eyes against the painful memory of telling Manu I taught sexual education. “Mm.”

Mal’s almost-rebuff was the cold light of reality. Too late, I remembered our failing caravan and the many chores to be done in order to survive. The importance of recordkeeping—if we felled too many trees, then we wouldn’t have a viable future.

“Sorry. I got carried away.”

His foot waggled energetically until I stroked. Mal knew when I was perturbed. He hummed. “Yeah? You’re not alone. Who hasn’t got carried away? But we can’t make them live differently or consider how to raise their kids. Same as they can’t do anything about us freezing in winter.”

“Why do we go over at all? Is it worth it, all things considered?”

About then, I had the two stupidest ideas of all time. I could find Nellak for my brother. He still loves you, and he always will. Bring him back. There was no way Nellak could’ve met anyone else. Mal was the best person in the whole world. Nobody had ever come through the tunnel from their direction, but it didn’t mean they never could.

My other idea was even more bold and exciting. I could bring Manu back to live with us. With me. Encourage him to a place of acceptance and self-fulfilment, away from half-humans. Make him laugh instead of cry. Show him how brave and strong he was. Instead of fighting, he could learn to talk in the circle.

We fell quiet for a bit, waiting for who’d crack first.

Mal. “It’s too soon to tell. Only in time will our descendants know if it was worth it.”

Outraged, I stopped stroking his ankle. “What? Fuck that. What about us? Don’t we matter too? Manu matters.

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