What Remains of Elsie Jane by Chelsea Wakelyn

Author:Chelsea Wakelyn [Wakelyn, Chelsea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FICTION / Biographical
ISBN: 9781459750869
Publisher: Dundurn Press
Published: 2022-12-23T00:00:00+00:00

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From: Sam <[email protected]>

Date: September 29, 2011 at 1:08 a.m.

Subject: Re: Take a listen

To: Elsie J. <[email protected]>

It’s become our song, hasn’t it? “Calgary.” Funny, it’s not a romantic city.

It’s our song, and yet it makes me sad. I can’t quite put my finger on why. It’s just a feeling that comes over me, a sadness about the death of love that coincides with the death of the body. How we know it’s coming for us all, one day, and we love each other anyway. And in loving each other, we risk the kind of loneliness and abandonment that is much worse than it would be, had we never loved.

If we were forced apart by death or distance, I would hungrily paw at the floor for you. I’d pace, and obsess. As hungrily as then, as when we met last year, and as obsessed.

Sometimes I worry that you’ll grow tired of me. Think me too old, maybe, and look for someone else to awaken and excite you in new ways. And then I run down that road, imagining if you left with them, and sailed away. I’d be on the shore, waving. I’d just stand there for years. Yeah, I think about that, sometimes. I wonder if I’d find my way back to life, or if I’d never leave that shore.

It’s not that I feel insecure in this love, it’s just that I’m prone to bad dreams, even when I’m awake. When those thoughts intrude, I remind myself that they’re just as frightening as dreams of your house burning down, but no more real. No more real than any bad dream.

G’night, Elsie Jane.

-Sam

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