What I'd Rather Not Think About by Jente Posthuma

Author:Jente Posthuma
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FIC019000, FIC025000, FIC045020, FIC112000
Publisher: Scribe Publications Pty Ltd
Published: 2023-04-04T00:00:00+00:00

The waiter recommended we try the steak tartare. We don’t eat meat, I wanted to say but my brother said: Bring it on. He also made hand gestures, as if he had no time to lose. Lately, he was always in a hurry, just as I was feeling like standing still. The roles had been reversed. The steak tartare was served with wafer-thin toast and a poached egg. I stuck my knife into the egg, my brother ate around it. He ate all the meat and left the rest.

On the way to the restaurant, I’d prepared for our conversation. I’m worried about you, I intended to say. I miss you.

The last time he confided in me, there had been a stepladder between us, and he’d caught me a little off guard. A month had passed. Our new curtains were beautiful. The colour wasn’t too sombre. I’m busy, my brother kept saying whenever I reached out. If I just keep on trying, I thought. Waiting to see what would happen no longer seemed wise. My brother needed someone.

So, I said, I think it’s a shame our interactions are always so volatile.

Yes, said my brother. And that I left Marcel without giving it another try.

No, I said. Yes, maybe that too.

I can never get it right with you, said my brother. Why are you always so pushy?

I’m trying to reach out to you, I said. Hello!

Hello, said my brother. Here I am.

He closed his eyes to concentrate on tasting the meat. An overhead light was shining a warm beam directly onto his forehead. He looked as though he could ascend at any moment.

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