What a Way to Go! by Stephen John

Author:Stephen John [John, Stephen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: fiction, adult, humour
Publisher: Star Books
Published: 1976-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Horrific noises rattled in Albert’s throat. His eyes bulged in their sockets. The knife descended.

‘Fred—he was fucking me in the ass!’

The knife came to a halt in mid-air at this desperate admission. Albert’s glazed eyes focused. Fred Stuart, kneeling in preparation for his butchery, stared hard and long at his future queen.

‘You’re ’aving me on, Flora,’ he called. ‘You was being unfaithful and ’e was gettin’ you with child.’

‘It’s not true, Fred,’ Flora cried. ‘I’m loyal to you and so is Albert, I swear it. He was buggering me—honestly!’

‘You’re just trying to protect your hillicit lover,’ Fred Stuart insisted. ‘ ’E was using your twat to give hisself a stake in royalty.’

Albert squirmed, less now from fear of the knife than Fred Stuart’s excruciating use of the English language.

‘He was not, Fred,’ Flora protested. ‘He was using my back passage—on the life of Bonnie Prince Charlie!’

Fred Stuart glanced down at Albert, seemingly moved by the gravity of this oath, he stood up.

‘ ’Ow do you expect me to believe that?’ he asked.

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