Weekend Pass by Paul Cavanagh

Author:Paul Cavanagh
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-9938093-4-7
Publisher: Not That London Writer

11

After dropping Charlotte off at her condo, Tasha goes for a drive. She needs some time on her own, especially after dim sum, where Charlotte and her dad kept waiting for her to break into a million pieces. Their faked nonchalance when she returned from the restaurant washroom was especially sad. She could tell they were assessing her every movement, word, and facial expression for evidence that she’d slunk away to take something for her nerves. She briefly wishes she had, just to spite them for having so little faith in her, but then she catches herself. That’s her dark side talking. Something her mother might do.

“We could go for a walk by the river together,” Charlotte tried to persuade her on the ride back from the restaurant.

“I’ll be fine,” Tasha told her. “I need to get comfortable spending time on my own. I can’t have you supervising me every minute.”

“Is that what you think I’m trying to do?”

“No, Charlotte…” Tasha sighed. She realized she was sounding ungrateful. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean that.”

“Good. Because pushing people away is part of your pattern.”

“I know. And I promise to be back in an hour. I just need a little me time is all.”

Charlotte wasn’t entirely convinced, but she knew she didn’t have the power to stop her. “An hour then. Drive carefully.”

Tasha felt like a teenager being given a curfew. She tried to tell herself that Charlotte was just providing her with structure, something addicts like her needed early on in their recovery, but a part of her still resented the interference.

Tasha turns right on Queens Avenue, crosses the Thames River, and leaves downtown. She has no destination in mind. She simply drives to clear her head. Ten minutes later, she finds herself pulling into the Dairy Queen her dad used to take her to. There aren’t many people sitting at the tables and benches outside – the sun is too strong – but the shop is definitely doing a brisk business early on this Saturday afternoon.

She parks, but doesn’t get out of her car, leaving the engine and air-conditioning running. Back when she was still a girl, she used to look forward to her trips here, spending time with her dad. That was until he spoiled it all by confirming his affair with Alex. She stayed away from this place for years after that. It reminded her too much of how blind her love for her father had been. It wasn’t until Jake developed a taste for soft ice cream that she returned. Damned if she was going to drive across town to another ice cream parlour just to avoid a few uncomfortable memories. The first trip back was the hardest, but it didn’t take long for her and Jake and Baker to make fresh, happy memories of their own. Now they’re ruined, too.

Tasha pulls Marnie’s business card from her purse. She should call her, tell her how strong her urges have gotten since the fiasco with Jake this morning. As a fellow addict, Marnie will understand, maybe even offer some advice.

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