Waiting by Debra Ginsberg

Author:Debra Ginsberg [Debra Ginsberg]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9780061760235
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2007-05-29T04:00:00+00:00

seven

in the family way

If work at The Columbia was difficult before, it became just about impossible soon after I learned I was going to have a baby. I finally confided in Sherry, another cocktail waitress, and told her that I didn’t know quite what to do. Sherry was rail thin with a witchy shock of curly red hair. Of all my coworkers, she seemed the most competent, energetic, and articulate. It had been Sherry, in fact, who had helped me through my first Buck Night, taking me over to the bartenders before the shift began and telling them to be extra patient with me since I’d never “worked the meat market before.”

“How exciting!” she gushed. She was my age and already had two small children she was raising without the benefit of a husband.

“Exciting, yes,” I told her, “but I’m thinking that maybe this isn’t the best environment in which to grow a new life.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she said, taking a deep drag from her cigarette, “you’ll be fine.” She smiled as if to reassure me. “I’ve just got one piece of advice,” she added. “When you have the baby, make sure they give you an episiotomy. That way they can sew you up tighter than before. Know what I mean?” She winked, nudged me, and put out her cigarette. “Back to work, then.”

I didn’t find Sherry’s advice the least bit comforting, and every day the smell inside The Columbia (a combination of alcohol, grease, cigarette smoke, and bar fruit) grew stronger and more oppressive. On a few nights, the only thing that kept me from running to the bathroom was the fact that it smelled even worse in there.

I’d gone into something of a “one day at a time” mode since discovering I was pregnant. I had a suspicion, before ever speaking to John, that I’d probably be marching into parenthood alone. We had ended our relationship on bad terms and he was in no way interested in a reconciliation. We hadn’t so much as spoken to each other for weeks. I was almost positive that he had very little room in his future plans for me, much less a child. Given these misgivings, I decided that I could probably manage without John’s active participation. My family’s reaction to the news, on the other hand, would be critical. I knew I would be lost without their support. I broached the subject as diplomatically as I could at a family dinner.

“You know, I think that possibly I might be…that is, I think there’s a chance I could maybe be pregnant,” I said. In the silence that followed, I added, “And I need to know how you all feel about that because I’m going to need your help.”

Their response, immediate and uncensored, was overwhelmingly positive. Not only were they willing to help, they were actually excited at the prospect of a new baby. Not one member of my family expressed a single doubt or misgiving. How could I even ask, they wanted to know, of course they would be with me 100 percent.

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