Wade by J.A. Carter-Winward

Author:J.A. Carter-Winward
Format: epub

_______

1/14/14 15

January is half over and I’m still getting used to the fact that it’s a new year. I’ve been here 5 months next week. Sometimes it feels like I’ve been here a week, and other times like I’ve been here forever and a day. I’ve got to admit the money is good, and it might be worth just staying until I’m really cushioned. But it’s not worth it, I know, because I’m afraid I’ll get burned out. There are some days when I feel like I’m already there. I’ve got to focus on getting out of debt and getting back on track. I miss school. Three semesters away. I’ve got to focus. I called today and Jacob sounded better but tired. I hated leaving him—he was sick with a bad cold. I know Jess is doing her best, but he needs his mom. That’s why I can’t stay here long term. And I can’t let it eat me up, like Jessica said. I’ve just been back here 2 days and I already wish it was over and I was driving back home.

So I’m writing this to record what happens here, with me, with customers, with the other workers, even, so I can do what I want to do. So here goes.

Today was the Tea Party, which is Belle’s term for our house meeting. Belle asked us about our “whys” as in why we are doing what we’re doing. Everyone said “money” all at once, big surprise, but then Belle said she wanted to hear from each one of us. Amy started, and she said she wanted freedom and to feel powerful and Belle really liked that. I only write about it because I don’t see Amy as all that powerful. She seems like she’s always working an angle and I have a hard time trusting her. I don’t think I’m alone, either. Lana seemed like she was the most up front when she said it was really about giving her family the type of life she wants for them. Her husband earns pretty good money and so she doesn’t have to do this. But because she does, they have a cabin, a boat, a motor home, and she said it actually helps her and her husband’s sex life, so good for her, I guess. That’s not a typical guy if he can handle her being a sex worker and still be married. When Belle got to Tamarind, she wouldn’t say anything. She seemed angry, and that’s how she always seems to me. Angry at Belle, angry at us, angry at the customers. I think she hates that they pick her because she’s Asian. I don’t know, it’s just something I feel. There are guys out there who have this Asian thing and you can always tell because they come just for her, they ask for her specifically. Some guys will outright ask if there are any Asian girls here. I guess if a guy asked if there were any Latina girls here, I wouldn’t feel especially bad about that.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.