UpSpark by Nicole Wells

Author:Nicole Wells [Wells, Nicole]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9798657496222
Published: 2020-07-24T16:00:00+00:00

“Yeah, but nothing as bad as when that video clip went viral. I wish I'd known someone was recording it.”

“I wish there was something more I could do, some way I could help you out. I'm useless here.”

“Even if you were here, there's not much you could do.”

"Well, I could distract you. We could have a girls' night in." I don't tell her a girls' night would be the very thing I would most avoid doing with her. I never shared about my brief fling with Jacob, and I'm still not ready.

"It's okay. Really. I'm in practice to receive every moment as it comes. Dealing with each encounter on an individual level, it's fine. I learn something from each one. And it helps me keep my heart open when it wants to shutter. So long as I don't dwell on the big picture, which leads me out of the present moment anyway, I can stay in this place of gratitude and compassion."

I think about how my premonitions have been coming true every time I'm tempted to contact Jacob. Which is pretty often. Even while I'm in the present moment, I wonder what he's doing at that moment too, and how he's doing. I can't be with him, but I still love him. I send him my love all the time, even if he doesn't know it. Especially when I meditate, I find a place of solace, knowing my sacrifice comes from a place of compassion, and let my heart fill with that.

“I’m sure Fee can do something with you. Maybe give you cooking lessons?” Fee, whose full name is Sophia, is my roommate. She’s spunky, her body adorned with multiple tattoos and piercings, and has frequently changing hair color, which was mauve the last time I saw her. She’s also sweet in her indirect way and an exceptional cook.

“Really, it's no big deal. I only got recognized by strangers, like, twice. It was mostly family and some people from High school calling me. I’m more affected by what the attention means than all the attention itself.”

"Somehow I don't believe you. Well, anyway, I just arrived at my dorm. I gotta grab my Psychology book and brush up before the quiz."

"Yeah, I gotta get going too.'' A local bible study group offered me an honorarium to talk up at Reisterstown, which Fee helped set up. She's friends with two members, including the leader, and I figured I had nothing else to do. We say our goodbyes and I head back to my car, trying not to think. I fail at that too, pushing the shades back up higher on my face, glad for their anonymity but even more thankful that they hide the tears in my eyes.

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